Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!
by Andrew Joshua Talon
Summary: Random, often perverted and humorous ficlets featuring our hapless Ronin. Enjoy. LEMON and weirdness warnings, rated M for a reason.
1. Ninja's Creed

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: In response to the questions about the various time loop fics, here's the answer:

Once upon a time on The Fanfiction Forum, a brilliant, perverted author by the name of Innortal started up a thread entitled "New Intros" in the Naruto section. This thread had, as it's main plot, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha timelooping back to their first day as a team and introducing themselves in different ways.

However, this single seemingly innocent timeloop spread between universes. The Ranma, Evangelion, Bleach, Love Hina, Negima, Star Wars, Dragonball, Harry Potter and many other universes went into timeloops as well and even began crossing over with eachother. The goddesses of the _Ah! My Goddess!_ Universe, responsible for monitoring the whole of Creation, tried to figure out what was going on. In the meantime, they made it so none of the Loopers could reproduce so that they wouldn't have to see their children be born, live, and die over and over again.

Keitaro's own looping experience has been… Problematic at best, as you'll see in future chapters. Right now though, just enjoy some randomness co-written with Chris Oddland and David Alan Abramcyzk,, involving Keitaro and a piece of technology _Assassin's Creed_ fans will recognize…

* * *

Guinea pigging for Suu was something that had almost no rewards, usually. Just horrible agony, destruction, and a large number of crying, angry women after me.

Most of her experiments I became party to regardless of my feelings on the matter. Every time I ended up trashed, ruined, humiliated, with Motoko or Naru or Kitsune or even Shinobu all angry with me.

This experiment though... This one was a little different. A little better. A little more... Helpful.

"Okay Keitaro, Su is ready now!"

I nodded as I laid down on the bed, letting out a held breath in a small sigh. The advanced technology of the device hummed beneath and around me, various sensors rising up in the shape of rings. I was entirely familiar with it, every piece of the magnificent machine.

Su sat nearby at her central computer, eagerly typing on the control panels as holographic screens showed every reading and vital sign of her subject.

"Just relax, Su find the right memory, right genes-"

"Su," I said firmly, "I know the drill." I looked directly at her. "Just start it up."

Su blinked, then nodded. "All right, Keitaro..." Her fingers typing sounded like a miniature stampede, clicking and clacking almost into a buzz. If she was disturbed by my change in tone, she made no sign of it.

The air in front of my eyes began to glow, and a visor descended. I took a deep breath, just before the plunge. Strange energies seemed to flow and shoot around me, forming into structures at once alien and totally familiar.

I closed my eyes as Urashima Keitaro: Second year ronin, washout, loser.

I reopened them to a moonless night, Hinata's town no longer formed by modern buildings but dominated by old style architecture. Merchants, peasants, civilians and policemen walked the streets, performers and vendors called out, offering their wares as the lights of hundreds of lanterns shown down upon the dirt roads.

In the darkness above, I smiled, my dark clothing and mask concealing me in the night's embrace. My hand rested upon my _ninjato_, ready to be used. I looked up from my hood into the stars dotting the sky by the thousands, knowing exactly who I was, and what I was doing.

Urashima Ken. Heir to the Urashima Ninja Clan, in the fading years of the Edo Period.

The darkness was no longer threatening, the worries of the future did not weigh upon me.

I was free. I took to the night over the rooftops.

There was work to be done.

* * *

_The 16__th__ Century…_

What history books on Molmol never tell was that once in the 16th century a strange man drifted ashore from the remains of a sunken ship while dragging chests tied to pieces of flotsam.

The stranger was swiftly bound and brought before the rulers due to his strange looks and clothes. But not before he had slain at least three of the many soldiers that came to apprehend him with a sickle attached to a chain.

While the king on a cautious whim wanted to slay the dangerous stranger, one of his queens took a fancy to this prisoner and took him for herself, spiriting him away to her secluded quarters.

There she made him her most valued and cherished lover, discovering to her surprise that her prisoner was not a stranger to people with her intimate and passionate temper.

Heartbroken she became when her lover managed to escape his well-guarded chambers and eluding her best hunters with skill, managing even to incapacitate one of them and stealing his clothes and weapons.

As she herself led the hunting party they cornered him at a cliff facing the sea. While he said aloud in their language that he had come to love her, he would rather die than be bound and caged again. And despite her desperate pleas he flung himself down into the sea.

The queen had despaired for days over his apparent death, but a seer had comforted her that he was still alive. Nine months later she gave birth a to a son that had the same eyes and face as his father. The king while filled with wrathful jealousy could not bring himself to inflict harm on the child and remained silent.

In the future mother and son would put the books the stranger had left behind to good use, changing Molmol in many ways.

"That's the last time I go shopping for western books on medicine, science and philosophy."" Hideki of the Urashima family grumbled to himself as he stared at the sea from the Dutch ship that had rescued him. The Chunin wondered how he could explain to his superiors how he lost all that useful stuff to those strange islanders and where he'd been all those years.

He would miss his beloved queen. During his captivity he had many a chance to end her life, but chose not to after she had earned a place in his heart. He would always remember her gentle breath as she lay sleeping next to him, a content, happy smile on her face…

* * *

_The 19__th__ century…_

In all honesty, this was the first time in the Animus device where Keitaro was seeing things as a woman, and he was utterly amazed. Her name was Yume Urashima, and had lived in the early 1820's by the Western calendar. She had a quiet dignity about her, a heart shaped face framed by her shoulder-length brown hair, and a slim, athletic body giving her an appearance, while not as drop-dead gorgeous or out-and-out sexy as that of her fellow Urashima, nevertheless could only be described as beautiful.

As Keitaro got his bearings and immersed himself in the genetic memory, he found Yume was standing on a road through a mountain pass, staring down a short haired man wearing the traditional attire of the Aoyama. A name rose up to put to the man; Denjiro Aoyama, one of the _Shinmei-ryu_'s wandering Sword Masters, who served them by searching for new talent. Yume and he had crossed paths several times these last few months, but here, on this warm Spring night, as the cherry blossoms were falling, Yume somehow knew that this would be their final meeting, one way, or another.

"Denjiro," Yume said, breaking the silence with a smile designed to infuriate the samurai. "I see you've recovered nicely from our last meeting. I am glad. I did not want to hurt you... Too badly." The proud Aoyama samurai was audibly grinding his teeth. How dare that, that, that _glorified courtesan_ condescend to him like that! Him, the rising star of the Aoyama Clan!

Seeing his expression, Yume smiled. "Oh come now, Den-chan, don't tell me you didn't enjoy our last meeting; I certainly did. You made so many cute little sounds when we were in that inn..." she said, twisting the knife in ever so slightly. All the time, she had that infuriating smile on her lips as she stood there, her pose deliberately designed to entice and befuddle the mind and arouse the primal urges. Denjiro steeled his nerves. He would be strong as the steel of his blade, as resolute in his task as a mountain standing against the winds; he would not fall to the lecherous Urashima's vile and perverted ways!

Yume then grinned. "I nearly forgot, Yuriko wanted me to say hello."

That did it. The mention of Denjiro's sister and fellow Master of the _Shinmei-ryu_ sent the samurai over the edge; with a deep-voiced cry of "SILENCE, WRETCHED HARLOT!", Denjiro drew his blade, and charged, intent on ending the life of the woman who held his kin in such unnatural bonds.

Yume's smile widened, as she drew a pair of kunai from her sash and seemed to explode into motion. As they rapidly closed the distance, and Denjiro swung his blade, Yume dropped down and slid between his legs, using her kunai to slash through his _obi_ and the seams in his _hakama_. The upshot of this was that when he spun around to face her, his pants fell to pieces leaving him clad only in his _kendogi_ and a rather inadequate _fundoshi_ to protect his modesty.

This did not impress the Aoyama man. Denjiro had passed anger, flown beyond rage, and was now in a strange state of tranquil fury, as he adopted the preparation stance for one of the _Shinmeiryuu_'s legendary ki strikes. The energy began to flow into his blade, which started to glow amidst the falling cherry blossom petals. "Boulder.... cutting.... _STRIKE!_" he shouted, sending a wave of energy cascading towards Yume.

To the shock of both Denjiro and Keitaro, Yume extended her hand, and the energy from the attack spiralled into it, like water draining through the plughole in a sink. Denjiro nearly dropped his blade, and stared as he sank to his knees. "I-Impossible.... H-how?" he gasped out, as Yume slowly walked over with that same smile on her lips, and stood over him.

"Now that...." she leaned down and whispered in his ear. "... Is a secret." she pressed her hand to his chest, and released the energy. A brilliant flash lit the mountain pass, scattering the cherry blossoms everywhere. She examined what she had done, then made a face as she made the hand signs for one of the clan's healing jutsu. "Might have overdone it _just_ a little..." she said, as she began to heal the battered and more than slightly singed samurai. The remainder of his clothes were cinders now, so she had an uninterrupted view of Denjiro. He gasped weakly as she finished using her jutsu. He glowered balefully at her through pain dulled eyes, before they widened as she fumbled with her sash. "I'm not done yet, Den-chan...." she said, with a predatory grin...

Two hours of sex later, Yume got up, got dressed, and smiled at the dazed Denjiro, who was caught between horror, lust, anger and a strange bit of affection for this crazy woman. He then whimpered as she tied him up with ninja wire, slung him over her back, and carried him off, whistling a happy tune as she went to bring her man home of the Clan Compound and Yuriko...

_White Lines dance across the sky, all fades to nothingness._

_

* * *

_

_*Hiiissssssss.... Ka-chunk*_

Keitaro was shaking like a leaf when he got out of the Animus, and had had to rub his face to get his bearings again. "Are all my ancestors like this?" He asked out loud, not wanting to believe that Motoko might have been right in her accusations. He gave the machine a dark look, somehow knowing that it was a question he would soon get an answer to.

* * *

_The 17th century..._

So he was still a genin, but then again he didn't care much since he was unambitious when it came to prestige and rank. It was just simple work and he treated it like that, if assassination and spying could be regarded as honest work.

Unlike the rest of his kinsmen Daisuke, of the clandestine family of Urashima comprising of Shinobi, had never really gotten into seduction stuff his relatives seemed to love. He felt more at ease when it came to slitting a samurai's throat here and there or repeatedly knifing enemy officials in the back in the back with kunai laced with poison. Disguising himself as a cook or kitchen hand and serve large bands of enemies poisoned sake and food he could manage with battering an eye or shedding any tear. Sneaking into a damiyo's residence disguised as a shinto priest and stealing or copying documents that would help allies in forgery was easy, as was sneaking into a temple of warrior monks disguised as a dirty beggar for intelligence gathering.

That changed when he arrived at a certain ryokan while travelling the highways, keeping a low profile after murdering the Noriyasu heir in his sleep. The young daughter of the husband and wife owning this inn had for some reason taken a liking to him after he tried to cheer her up while she despaired over one of the quarrels of her parents. Somehow she had managed to have him somehow stay at the ryokan for days, enjoying her company until the fateful night she snuck into his room and declared that she had fallen for him.

And naturally one thing lead to another, despite Daisuke's fervent protests about her being to young for him and that she had to wait until a kind-hearted honest man would come and ask for her hand. The girl silenced him with a kiss and he gave into her passion. When the sun rose two lovers lay in the futon, both blushing furiously over what they had done when they woke up.

Naturally Daisuke following his personal code of honour took responsibility and asked the girl's parents for her hand in marriage. It took a while before both parents relented to this. It even took some time before his superiors let him have his will for a change, realizing it wasn't much of a loss since there were more talented men and women in the family.

After the marriage the ryokan was inherited by Daisuke and his pregnant wife. The girl's parents helped them maintain and work at this inn. It took time, but Daisuke became quite skilled at this. His wife, their many children and even his parent-in-laws had become quite dear to him and he would certianly butcher anyone who harmed them without remorse.

His family never got used to the fact that ryokan now also served as an outpost and safehouse for the Urashima shinobi, but he always covered his tracks well. So did his children after he tutored them in the art of murder.

--

As Keitaro left the the Animus, he was blushing so much that his face looked like that of a tomato. Daisuke's memories of letting go of his restraints and submitting to his animalistic desires were pretty intense, considering the emotions flaring up in his ancestor. And that he fathered up to at least eleven children.

The next day as everyone was eating breakfast, Keitaro was fervently looking away from the petite chef of the Hinata-sou. For some creepy reason he could see the resemblance between Shinobu-chan and the inn-keeper's daughter who became Daisuke's wife.

A creeping suspicion arose inside of him; didn't Shinobu-chan try out the Animus before him yesterday?

As his brown eyes met the cornflower blue eyes of Shinobu, both of them began blushing like there was no tomorow. Fumbling wildly he excused himself and ran outside.

_Maybe I'll try what my ancestor did when everyone's asleep. I don't think Sempai can resist me this time._ Shinobu thought. _Mental note: Give Naru-sempai tea with sleeping pills in them..._

* * *

_Osaka in the 19th century_

On the outskirts of this trading port where ships carrying all kinds of goods anchored, a battle took place. Actually it was a failed ambush, but the ninja assigned for this cutthroat business didn't mind.

The samurai charged at him with a battojutsu strike meant to swiftly cut his adversary down.

Junpei smiled as he stood his ground and thrusted with all his strength and buried his yari into the chest of the samurai. With a dying wail the swordsman fell on his back with the spearhead and upper shaft driven through him. But even if death his victim still gripped his blade.

"Sure I ain't got no fancy sword forged by some wise and ancient swordsmith living secluded in a cave, but I got a nice, long spear with a sharp, sharp point." Junpei remarked with a shrug of contempt.

Junpei of the shadowy family Urashima that had spawned many lethal shinobi was regarded by many of his fellow ninja as quite a heretic. Instead of doing things the professional way, like a swift death from the shadows Junpei was more of a brawler who fought man to man, face to face. Sure he might respect tradition a bit by doing his grisly duty like most Urashima ninja did on a few occasion when it was advisable, but he did things like a common fighting man for his own sake.

Osaka was his hunting ground along with a handful of other family members who also took a liking to this place. He'd even lived here so long that he began speaking in the Kansai dialect, even though he somtimes made a few relapses to his old way of speaking.

Without any pangs of conscience what he had done Junpei planted his foot on the chest of the cooling corpse and pulled out his weapon of choice who he affectionately named Yari-san. Yari-san was then quickly wiped clean of blood and guts with the dead man's kimono before Junpei withdrew to avoid being discovered at the scene of the crime.

--

"So, Junpei, who did you kill this time?" the courtesan asked her lover as they lay naked on the futon, enjoying the afterglow of their passionate lovemaking.

"Just some guy who managed to anger an official, who hired the services of people like me who get their hands dirty for them" Junpei said sleepily.

A firm hand shook him awake as he almost began to sleep. "Don't tell me that's all for tonight?" she scolded him with a cute pout.

"You're insatiable!!" Junpei complained.

"Maybe you need some more warming up?" The courtesan gave him a vixen-like smile that made his heart skip a bit faster as she picked up a small bottle of sake. She took a small sip before handing the bottle to him.

Sighing Junpei gulped down a lot of what was left. "Satisfied?" he gave her a crossed look.

"Maybe," she smiled, "Now where were we? Oh, yes, we were to continue our last time together."

"I'll miss you, lover," Junpei stated simply as he laid a hand on her chest.

"I knew you would," she sighed and kissed him.

He had been with many women in his life, and she had been with many men in her life, but for some reason they grew fond of each other and had spent many passionate nights together. Soon she would leave Osaka forever to become the mistress of some wealthy damiyo far away, but at least he would hold her in his arms for a while longer.

He and his beloved vixen courtesan would never see each other again, but they would never forget what they had shared together. And they would try to find comfort in other people's arms to make the pain of parting go away.

* * *

Keitaro exited the Animus.

His ancestor Junpei Urashima had been quite interesting, seeing how he used a spear to kill most of his targets. Maybe he could buy a spear to fend off Motoko. But he had to blunten the edges first so that he didn't impale her if they ever fought with spear and sword.

He walked out of the Hinata-sou and sat down on the the top step of the stone stairs leading down. The stars were shining brightly in the night sky.

He then saw Mitsune "Kitsune" Konno stagger clumsily up the stairs after one of her usual drinking binges she had when going out to town.

"Y'know, vixen, you should lay off the drinking. It isn't good for you?" Keitaro looked surprised as the words left his mouth. He realized that he had spoken in the same dialect as Mitsune. Hopefully Junpei would get out of his head soon.

"D-Did you say somethin'?" the woman calling herself Kitsune managed to slur.

"Not really." Keitaro shrugged and re-adjusted his glasses. And held out his hand for her to hold on to. "I'll help you get to bed."

* * *

Kitsune was out like a light when he tucked her in for the night. Looking at her sleeping face and watching her chest heave with every breath and taking in the smell of alcohol from her Keitaro almost leaned down to kiss her on the lips, but stopped himself from doing so and left closing the door behind him.

As he headed for his room, he considered everything that had happened over the past few weeks, ever since he started using the Animus.

On one hand, learning that he came from a long line of kickass ninja and having their memories (including muscle) downloaded into his brain had, in turn, made him pretty damn kickass. His ancestors had employed a discipline of movement not that dissimilar to the French _parkour_ or the Chinese _Qing Gong_ to get around, which, combined with ki boosts to speed, dexterity and agility made him feel like a superhero as he vaulted, flipped and ran over rooftops with ease.

The hand-to-hand combat skills of his ancestors were also very nice. He'd begun sparring with Motoko to learn from her and provide her with a partner for training, and with her tutelage and the effect of the Animus, he was swiftly becoming quite good. Indeed, Motoko had initially scoffed at his request for training, but after proving himself, she had begun to show him more respect and blast him out of the Hinata Sou far less.

There was, of course, one downside-His ancestors were all, with only a very few exceptions, incredibly perverted. Hell, they'd even had a ninja art gained from a grateful kitsune that let them change genders at will! An Urashima Naruto had first utilized the technique in the 14th century. He'd used it successfully to annoy and defeat pretty much anyone who fought him, except for some stuck up lamer named Sasuke who had taken on that name from the more _famous_ guy and had used some strange eye-based ki techniques to defeat his enemies.

Come to think of it... That all sounded very familiar...

There was another issue… He'd picked up an ability of his ancestors, something they'd dubbed, roughly translated, "Ero Vision".

Advantage: He could tell when someone was going to attack him based on changes in the appearance of their ki, and somehow see various secret items.

Disadvantage: He could tell whenever anyone in his vicinity, male or female, was aroused. He could also figure out what was arousing them.

Now, for women, this could be an advantage. For men, it was just disturbing... Doubly so when he learned a few of his ancestors had created gender-switching techniques. However, they were hard to do and required some consultation with a kitsune, and Keitaro wasn't sure he wanted to risk that.

Still, overall… It was a very, very awesome experience… But the more he used it, the more he didn't act like himself, and losing himself… Well…

_Maybe I'll take a break from the Animus_, Keitaro thought to himself.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it. And now, enjoy an omake for the Mol Mol 16__th__ Century "dive":_

Omake:

Keitaro emerged from the Animus, the memories of Urashima Hideki still fresh and clear within his mind. The lights in the room had turned red, and the ronin's thoughts were struggling to reconcile this place with where he'd been before.

"Hello Keitaro," said a sweet, female voice. Keitaro turned to look, and his eyes widened.

"Ah... Su?" She was in her red moon form-a grown woman, beautiful and athletic... And in extremely skimpy attire.

She smiled at him, seductive and mysterious, but Keitaro saw the knowing glint in her eyes.

"Ah... You saw that, huh?" He asked.

Su nodded. "Mmhmm..." She walked up to him, a sensual sway in her hips Hideki's memories forced him to connect to that MolMol Queen.

"There is a legend of a lost foreigner whom one of my ancestors fell in love with," Su said, lifting one long, perfectly formed leg up and over him. She straddled him, warm hands resting on his chest.

"Is there?" Keitaro asked, instincts pushing him to touch her back. Su purred.

"Yes... It is a tragic, beautiful story, that every girl in my country has heard. And we all wished for such a man, a great warrior, to be ours." She smiled and leaned down, face coming close to his.

"I had always hoped you would be that man for me," Su whispered. Keitaro tried to find an objection, he really did, but Hideki's memories were still fresh in his mind, and Su was... Well...

"What about the others?" He murmured, nose pressing against hers. Su laughed quietly.

"Oh, they will be fine... My presence here means the Hinata Sou is an embassy of my people... And our laws, including those pertaining to marriage, apply here. So Keitaro... Just relax."

She kissed him, and Keitaro, his worries addressed, could find no other objections as he kissed her back.


	2. Perfectly Calm Keitaro Loops

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Warning: Please be aware this story is rated "M" for mature, and contains language and sexual content not appropriate for younger readers. It is called a lemon for a reason, what do you expect?

Author's Note: It's easier to write time loop ficlets than it is to write whole stories, I'll be honest about that. So enjoy two of them now.

* * *

Ero-Vision, Keitaro found, could be used for a lot more than simply seducing women with ease. It also allowed him to see all sorts of secret entrances and hidden treasures.

How that worked, Keitaro didn't have the foggiest idea, but he wasn't complaining as he pulled himself up into Naru's room.

"Keitaro! You pervert!" Naru shouted, and threw a punch. Keitaro casually caught her strike and judo threw her through the doors.

"GAH!"

"I'll play with you later Naru," Keitaro said, in the tone of an adult humoring a child throwing a temper tantrum. Which, in all honesty, was what most of Naru's behavior amounted to-A spoiled, insecure, bitchy little girl lashing out of jealousy and selfishness.

... Who had grown up into a spoiled, insecure, bitchy woman who lashed out of jealousy and selfishness.

Yes, he still loved her but really, he didn't have to put up with her crap.

"K-Keitaro, what the hell...?" Naru muttered, staring in complete and total shock after she'd recovered enough to talk. Not from injury, of course, but from disbelief. Keitaro tapped on the walls of Naru's room, looking thoughtful, before he tapped a panel three times. It opened up, and Keitaro finally turned to smile at her.

"Hm? Oh, I was just looking for termite damage when, surprise, secret passage! Isn't that crazy?" Keitaro asked with a grin. Naru blinked.

"N-No, I meant-"

"Huh? Me throwing you through the doors? Sorry about that, but you did try to hit me," he said, producing a flashlight from his pocket and turning it on to inspect the passage. Yep, definitely one Su hadn't opened-That one was on the OTHER side of the room.

"You intruded on me when I was changing!" Naru growled.

"I did? Sorry, I didn't notice," Keitaro said.

Well, obviously he _had_, but the shocked look on her face was always fun to see. He slid into the passage and looked at her.

"If you'd like, you can come along."

Through Ero Vision, he saw her conflict, her shock... Even some arousal. Her severe daddy issues were responsible for how she was, so Keitaro acting authoritative and adult-like got her motor running. She wouldn't be "fixed" without some significant therapy and more than a LITTLE sex, but it was a start.

Almost meekly, Naru nodded and followed, crawling after Keitaro. They came to a junction and Keitaro went right... Mainly because the left was a wall.

"What is this?" She asked after a while.

"Secret passageway. My ancestors built lots of them," Keitaro replied. "They had a lot of enemies so they needed ways of escaping."

"You never told me about this," she said, a little accusation in her tone. "How do I know you haven't been using them to peep on us?"

"You don't," he said. Naru stiffened, and Keitaro enjoyed the conflict/arousal inside her again. He looked ahead, and saw a secret door.

"Aha... What's this?" He asked, scooting right up to it and pressing it.

"A section of the wall, it's..." Naru trailed off as said section of wall opened up. Keitaro smiled.

"How did you see that?" Naru asked.

"Because, I'm made of awesome," Keitaro replied flippantly. "Come on."

He slid into the tunnel, which soon grew in height, enough for them to walk. Naru continued to trail Keitaro, blushing deeply and looking at him. Keitaro could only sense the emotional turmoil going on inside her, but he could imagine her thoughts.

_Oh God, he's so strong and doesn't let me push him around anymore! I'm so hot! But he's a pervert, must die! Oh Daddy, why did you leave me? Wasn't I woman enough for you? Oh Keitaro, make me call you Daddy! NO! He's a perverted loser! Not Daddy! Keitaro! Kei-Daddy!_

God he loved her, she was just a tightly wound curvy bundle of sexy crazy wrongness.

"Another door," Naru said, unnecessarily. Keitaro nodded, and opened it up. It led into a dark room, which Keitaro shone the light around. Numerous objects, books, and scrolls littered it, and it smelled of old paper and sand. Keitaro found a candle, and lit it with a snap of his fingers.

"I... It... What is it...?" Naru asked. Her eyes widened and her cheeks went bright red. "Is that a... A statue of a naked woman...?"

"Yep... Those are too," Keitaro said non-chalantly. "Oh, and a statue of a woman being tentacle raped... Men gangbanging a noblewoman... Think that's a kitsune and a tengu together..."

"St-Stop it...!" Naru tried, instinctively punching him. Keitaro blocked her strike with ease, eyebrows rising.

"Naru, do you realize what we've just found?"

"Evidence that your family's _always_ been full of perverts?!" Naru growled. Keitaro turned to her and smiled brightly.

"Yep! Urashima Family Porn Collection!" He held up what appeared to be an early hentai manga. "Isn't that cute? They recorded their victory over the Aoyama Clan in erotic combat! Motoko'll LOVE that!"

Naru gaped. "You... I... Where the hell is your shame?!"

"Lost it a _long_ time ago, babe," Keitaro said. He smiled warmly at her. "Sides, all of archaeology is basically looking through other people's private belongings and trash-Not a huge leap to perversion, is it?"

* * *

"All right Urashima, what is this about?" Motoko demanded. Internally, Keitaro was smiling like a madman. Outside, he looked a bit nervous as he looked at all the girls.

"Well... Su brought something important to my attention," Keitaro began. "That I think you should all know..."

"What is it, S-Sempai?" Shinobu asked. Keitaro produced a large file of papers, and opened it up. He adjusted his glasses and began to read.

"'In accordance with Treaty of MolMol 1999, due to defeat of Japanese negotiation team in dodgeball, any residence of MolMol royalty within Japanese borders is considered soil of country of MolMol and therefore, subjected to said laws...'"

"Okay, so... Su is a Mol Mol princess, she lives here, what's the problem?" Naru asked. "We live in an embassy, that's not bad..."

"No, it isn't bad, especially since we're tax exempt," Keitaro said. Kitsune's eyes lit up at that, and Keitaro resisted a smirk. "However... There's one other issue..."

"And that is?" Naru demanded.

"Right, hang on," Keitaro said, flipping through the papers. "Aha... Ahem. 'In the case of co-habitation of male and female residents for a period of more than 6 months, said inhabitants are legally married and said marriage is recognized by local Japanese ordinances with all benefits thereof.'" Keitaro lowered the file.

Dead shock. Then, anger.

"WHAT?!" Naru demanded. "MARRIED?!"

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Motoko growled.

"Married?!" Kitsune gasped.

"M-Married?!" Shinobu squeaked.

"Oh my, married?" Mutsumi asked with a smile.

Keitaro nodded. "Yeah..."

"So, who's married to the idiot then?" Naru demanded.

"If it is me, I assure you, it will be _short_," Motoko hissed, drawing her sword. Keitaro just gave her a look.

"Motoko, killing your new husband isn't going to help," he said, managing to keep from laughing.

"You are surprisingly _calm_ about the situation!" Motoko growled, as Naru grabbed the files and furiously began looking through them. Keitaro shrugged.

"Well hey, it's not my fault..."

"IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR BEING MALE!" Motoko bellowed.

"Sempai's marrying Motoko-sempai?" Shinobu whispered, looking like she was about to wail.

"Your fault for being female," Keitaro calmly replied. He rolled his eyes as she drew her sword. "That's not going to help."

"It will make me _feel_ better!" Motoko hissed.

"Wait, wait... What's this about... What's this?!" Naru demanded, holding up a lot of paperwork. "These are marriage licenses for all of us!"

"Yeah, they are," Keitaro said, still perfectly calm. "I'm apparently married to all of you."

Dead silence and total shock reigned once again. Keitaro kept up his mask of calm, when all he really wanted to do was drop to the floor and laugh his head off.

"WE'RE ALL MARRIED TO YOU?!" Naru screeched.

"Yes," Keitaro said.

"I WANT A DIVORCE!" Naru shrieked. Keitaro shrugged.

"Fine."

"GOOD, I-Wha?" Naru said. Keitaro shrugged again.

"Be my guest, do what you like."

"You... You mean you're... Fine with a divorce?" Naru asked, as Motoko frantically began to read through her own papers. Keitaro nodded.

"Yeah... I mean, I'd like to have a wife, but not until I'm really sure about it, ya know?"

Shinobu, predictably, had fainted happily, but at this she snapped back up awake.

"I-I-I'm f-fine being married!" She squeaked. Keitaro smiled and nodded.

"All right Shinobu, if you'd like."

"KEITARO!" Naru snarled. "She-She's underaged!"

"Not in Mol Mol," Su finally spoke up, after devouring half of a bunch of bananas. She smiled cheerfully. "Mol Mol, can be married at age 14! Shinobu-chan legal!"

"Oooh, tax benefits," Kitsune said. "My rent will be a LOT cheaper..."

Like she paid any rent at all, Keitaro thought flatly, but he held his tongue.

"What?! You... it will take MONTHS before we can be divorced!" Motoko snarled. Keitaro nodded.

"Now you know why I'm so calm about all this," he said.

"What? How could you be?! Pervert, we're MARRIED!" Naru growled.

"So?" Keitaro asked. "Does it fundamentally change our relationships? No. Do you have to have sex with me? No."

"Ara, he has a point," Mutsumi pointed out with a smile. "And I wouldn't mind being Mutsumi Urashima-It's a very nice name."

"Thanks Mutsumi," Keitaro said with a smile.

"Actually," Su said, "you have to consumate it within one month or you get fined."

"FINED?!" Naru and Motoko screamed. Su nodded.

"Mmmhm, it's to keep wives and husbands from living sexless marriages and using sex as a weapon. Makes everyone MUCH happier!" She beamed. "Sometimes you even get jail time for not consumating your relationship!"

"JAIL?!" Kitsune joined Motoko and Naru in shrieking.

"Ah..." Keitaro nodded, once again keeping his cool. "Okay."

"... O-Okay?!" Naru choked. "OKAY?!"

"You pervert Urashima, you've been waiting for-!"

"Before you start on your rant, let me make it clear," Keitaro said, with a calm but forceful voice, "I didn't know this was happening. And if keeping you guys out of jail means having sex with you, then I'll do it... But I'm not going to force myself on anyone. And if we do have sex, well then, I'll just have to make sure it's as good as possible," he said. He turned to Kitsune. "Kitsune, can you help me become a good lover?"

It was Kitsune's turn to blush bright red. "Ah, er, um..."

"URASHIMA-!"

"Later," Keitaro said, his dismissal shutting Motoko's scream up more effectively than he could have physically. The swordswoman just gaped and stared as Keitaro offered his hand to Kitsune... And the ash-blonde woman took it.

"Ah... Sure..." She said with a smile.

"Ara... May I sit in on the lessons as well, Kitsune? I'd like to learn with you," Mutsumi said. Kitsune nodded.

"Um... Sure," she said. "Works for me..."

"Auuu! I-I too would like to learn!" Shinobu cried out. Kitsune grinned.

"The more the merrier..." She purred. She looked at Keitaro-He just nodded and smiled without so much as a blush. Kitsune frowned... She felt challenged.

_We'll see how long he goes without blushing, oh yes..._

Keitaro resolved to find someplace quiet to laugh his head off in private. This was working out better than he'd ever planned! And the looks on Naru and Motoko's faces... Well, either they'd come to him when faced with jailtime, or the other women would bring them in.

Yep, taking a loop off to go to law school had been the best decision of his life...


	3. Keitaro OtouSan

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Warning: Please be aware this story is rated "M" for mature, and contains language and sexual content not appropriate for younger readers. It is called a lemon for a reason, what do you expect?

Author's Note: It's easier to write time loop ficlets than it is to write whole stories, I'll be honest about that. So enjoy two of them now.

* * *

Keitaro had just come from Su's room, and was smiling cheerfully. It was a great day-The sun was shining, birds were singing, and his beautiful daughter was waiting for him to help her study. He had learned a lot more teaching her than he'd ever learned being taught, that was for sure.

He saw Naru walking up the hallway, and he raised a hand to greet her-But, as was always the case in the Hinata Sou, he tripped and fell, his hand accidentally snagging her skirt and pulling it down.

"Whoops!" He shouted. He looked up at Naru. "Naru, you all right?"

Naru's eyes widened and she seethed in anger.

"YOU PERVERT!" She cried, and punched him hard. He slammed into the wall, and groaned. He then got angry.

"NARU NARUSEGAWA!" He snarled angrily. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

Naru looked shocked. The young girl stared in fear, and Keitaro, still running on anger, grabbed her wrist and yanked her over his lap.

"H-HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Naru demanded. She gaped in shock as she felt Keitaro yank down her skirt and her panties. "Y-You wouldn't-!"

"I'm sorry Naru-chan, but this is for your own good," Keitaro said grimly. He spanked her, hard.

_SMACK!_

"OWWWW!" Naru cried. "YOU-YOU-!"

_SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!_ Keitaro spanked her quickly, ten times, before he let her go. Naru got to her feet, trembling, her face red in pain, anger and humiliation.

"Now, you go to your room and think about what you did," Keitaro said sternly. Naru choked back a sob, and pulled her underwear and skirt back up. She winced at the pain, and went off as quickly as she could.

Keitaro sighed, and bowed his head. He didn't like to spank Naru-It was the thing he _least_ enjoyed about parenting, but... She couldn't just do that sort of thing without punishment. He took several deep breaths to calm himself, before he stood up and walked in the direction Naru had gone.

Kitsune and Su observed from a hiding spot nearby. The Mol Mol genius grinned at Kitsune.

"Am I a genius or what?" Su asked. Kitsune nodded, her eyes wide.

"Su is a _genius_."

* * *

Naru sat in her room, her covers over her head. She knew about the roleplay, how everything was _supposed_ to be, but... She hadn't expected _that!_ Keitaro was always a pushover, a weakling...

_Not father material... Not someone who'd... Who'd...!_

Keitaro knocked on her door. "Naru-chan? It's me."

"G-Go away," she sniffled. "You... You pervert..."

Keitaro entered anyway, and walked next to Naru's futon. He sat down next to her, and sighed heavily. She peeked out from her covers, eyes just above her blanket.

"I didn't want to do that, Naru-chan," Keitaro admitted. "But... You have to understand, if you can't control that temper of yours, well... You might hurt someone and get in trouble... And that's the last thing I want for you."

"You... You pulled down my skirt!" She insisted. Keitaro nodded.

"I know... I'm sorry. But it was an accident. You know I wouldn't intentionally do something like that, right Naru-chan?"

Naru sniffled, about to retort, but... Keitaro had been modified by Su, right? He wouldn't act like a pervert... Unless something went wrong. But, the genuine look in his eyes, well... That was hard to fight. She nodded grudgingly.

"Y-Yeah..."

"And you shouldn't hit people for their accidents," he said calmly. "You wouldn't want me to punch you for making a mistake, would you?"

Naru felt a stab of guilt at this, and slowly nodded.

"Yes... But... But you mess up too much!" She insisted. Keitaro nodded.

"You're right... I am clumsy. I should try to do better."

"Yes, you... What?" Naru blinked. Keitaro smiled.

"I promise, I'll do better about that, okay?" He said. "But you need to learn how to control your temper... How about we help eachother?"

Naru stared for a moment longer, before she slowly nodded. "All... All right..."

"All right," Keitaro said with a smile. He pulled Naru into a tight hug, one which she hesitantly returned. He kissed her on the top of her head, an action that immediately made her blush.

"Ah..."

"It's all right," he said. He smiled at her. "I love you, you know that right?"

"You..." Naru's blush darkened. "R-Right..."

"Good... Now, dinner's going to be ready in a little while... You want to go play for a bit now, or later?"

"I... I'd just like to be alone for a while," she said. Keitaro nodded, and hugged her again.

"All right... I'll come get you when it's time for dinner, okay?"

Naru nodded, and Keitaro let go. He stood up, and walked towards the door. However, he stopped when he got to Liddo-Kun, picked him up, and took him over to Naru.

"Here... Don't let him sit all by himself," Keitaro said with a gentle smile. Naru nodded, and held the toy.

"R-Right..."

Keitaro left, and Naru sighed.

_This is... So weird... He spanked me! I can't believe it..._ She looked at her Liddo-kun.

_But... It was kind of... Nice... Afterwards..._

* * *

"This is working out great," Kitsune enthused. "He's kind but firm, I love it!" She also had to admit watching Keitaro spank Naru was a bit of a turn on. Hey, she was kinky, deal with it.

"Mmmhm," Su said cheerfully. She looked at her personal computer... And frowned. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh? What's uh oh?" Kitsune asked flatly. Su began typing rapidly.

"Oh... Probably nothing," she said quickly.

"Probably?" Kitsune asked with a growl. Su shrugged.

"Well, may have added an extra variable to perception alterations..."

"You mean a mother figure to Naru, right?" Kitsune asked. Su nodded. "Well, that's pretty simple... It's me, right?"

Su coughed. "Ahhh..."

"_Right?_"

"Well, you're one," she said. "The other, ummm..."

"The other?" Kitsune prompted. Su coughed.

"I couldn't resist! She made me banana cream pie!"

"Shinobu!"

- - - - - - -

Keitaro entered the kitchen, stretching with a groan. He opened his eyes, and smiled. There was Shinobu, gorgeous as usual, working at the stove. He snuck up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Ah...! Sempai!" She cried out, surprised. Keitaro nuzzled her neck with a grin.

"Come on Shinobu-chan, I'm not _that_ much older than you," he said, as his hands began to roam her generous curves. "But if that's the sort of thing you want to play~..."

"Oooohhh..." Shinobu moaned happily. Oh yes, she was going to _love_ being Naru-sempai's mother... And Keitaro's wife, heheheh...

* * *

"Why shouldn't I touch Shinobu? She doesn't mind!"

"I thought you were supposed to be less perverted!"

"How is that perverted?" Keitaro drew a picture of a hot Shinobu in her twenties. "See?"

"... SU!" Motoko bellowed.

"What? Just did what she wanted me to do... Yes, Su thinks Shinobu will be happy with Manager!"

"Oh Sempai~... I have whipped cream~... Could you help me with cleaning it up~?"

"Oh no you don't... Keitaro! I've given up drinking, but you can drink all my booze from between my boobs~..."

Naru groaned and rubbed her forehead. Her dad and moms were so weird... _Wait, did I just think that?!_

* * *

Naru was sulking a bit in her room. She'd lost her temper and hit Keitaro again, and in response, he'd spanked her and sent her to her room. It was so unfair!

And her bottom still stung...

The door opened and Mutsumi entered, wearing a smile and carrying a stack of manga.

"Mutsumi!" Naru blurted out in surprise. Mutsumi reached out and pressed a finger to Naru's lips.

"Shhh... It's okay," she said. She set down the manga and smiled. "I decided to bring you something nice to read while you're being punished."

"Well... Thank you, Mutsumi," Naru said. Mutsumi laughed softly, and leaned forward to peck Naru on the lips. The younger woman blushed severely.

"Think nothing of it," Mutsumi said. She rose and turned away. "I'll be back in a bit..." She left the room, closing the door behind her. Naru began to look through the stack of manga, seeing a few interesting things...

But her face turned bright red when she saw one manga in particular-A collection of incest hentai.

"H-How did this get in here?!" She cried. _Kitsune, you...! Ooooh! When I get my hands on you...!_

She picked it up and was about to throw it away...When she noticed that the girl on the cover strongly resembled her. As did the father with her. Her blush deepened. She looked around out of habit, nervous of peering eyes.

_Well... Maybe... Maybe just a peek? Maybe it's not as bad as it looks...?_

Naru opened the manga and began to read. Half an hour later, she knew it wasn't as bad as it looked: It was _worse_.

The manga had the father punishing the daughter with spankings, and rewarding her good behavior with sex. Hot, indecent sex that left Naru feeling quite warm between the legs. She turned the page, and saw the step-mother of the family now joining in...

"Oh my," gasped a familiar voice. Naru froze as she felt Mutsumi's breasts press into her back, and her arms wrap around her shoulders. Naru's face went pale, and she turned her head to see Mutsumi's gentle smile.

"M-Mutsumi! How did you-?!"

"Oh, I'm very good at going around unnoticed, Naru-chan," Mutsumi said. "But you... You need to work on that... Among... _Other_ things," she murmured. Her smile became warm and sensual, and her lips drew close to Naru's.

"Would you like to learn from Mama, Naru-chan~?" Mutsumi whispered, before she kissed Naru.

"Mmm...!" Naru resisted a bit at first, but Mutsumi's fingers, mouth and a few "toys" she'd brought along fixed that. Soon, soft cries of "Mama" could be heard from Naru's room-Something Keitaro noticed soon enough.

"Maybe I should check on her-" Keitaro said, but Kitsune rose and hugged him.

"Just let Mutsumi sort it out... There are some things fathers can't get about their daughters, you know," Kitsune said gently. Keitaro slowly nodded.

"I guess... And Mutsumi won't hurt her, of course."

"Of course," Kitsune said with a smile. _Not unless that's what Naru-chan wants..._

* * *

_After one too many beatings, Keitaro begs Kitsune to help him with Naru's problems. Kitsune, in turn, arranges for a psychologist to go over Naru's history and to actually talk with her. Naru, naturally, is unhappy about this but agrees to go in for an evaluation, even though she says that Keitaro is all to blame._

_The psychologist comes up with a theory: Based on the evidence, Naru has severe issues with her father, and desperately craves a paternal figure because she's from a divorced home. As Keitaro is the only male around, she beats on him due to conflicting feelings regarding him. So, the psychologist proposes an unorthodox solution: Roleplaying._

_Keitaro plays the role of Naru's paternal figure, and the rest of the Hinata Sou goes along with it to provide Naru with a family, something she lost. Naru protests, naturally, and believes that the other tenants won't go along with it. However, she is wrong._

_Kitsune, Haruka and Mutsumi support it because it'll help Naru get better. Motoko supports it because if Keitaro acts as Naru's father figure he won't be perverted. Su thinks it'll be fun. And Shinobu is thrilled... Until it turns out that Kitsune will be Naru's mother figure as she has some issues with her, too._

_A little hypnosis courtesy of Su's technology and Keitaro is in the right mindset to treat Naru like his daughter. Kitsune cheerfully leaps into the role of mother figure. And Naru, while petulant and angry at first, begins to modify her behavior... Especially after Keitaro starts spanking her every time she lashes out violently._

_Shinobu competes with Kitsune to serve as a better mother figure (and thus, wife to Keitaro), Motoko is pleased to be a big sister... Until Keitaro calls her on telling "Naru-chan" that all men are perverts, and insists she act better. And Mutsumi essentially plays the role of Kitsune's whimsical, live-in sister/Another mother figure for Naru._

_In short, Naru is one big ball of crazy, and it's great fun to write.  
_

_What are your thoughts? _


	4. Star Trek Hinata Loop

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _I removed the lemon chapters because I wasn't comfortable with having them here on my account. Now, a bit of an odd loop (inspired by Innortal's Ranma/Star Trek parody):_

* * *

"Captain's Log, stardate 74359.6. Captain Keitaro Urashima recording. My first day upon this new _Sovereign_-class starship, USS _Hinata_, has been a trying and perilous one-"

"Captain!"

Keitaro winced, and looked over at his first officer, sitting to his right with an irritated expression. "Computer pause. Ah, yes?"

"What do you mean, 'perilous'?"

"I'm trying to record my log, Commander. Would you mind letting me finish?"

"Would you mind explaining your use of the word 'perilous'?"

"It is only natural that a perverted captain would feel a ship of women who will not tolerate his peeping ways is perilous," Security Officer Motoko Aoyama growled. Keitaro resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Yes, because you entering _my_ quarters while _I'm_ in the shower makes _me_ the pervert."

"YES IT DOES!"

"Ahem?"

"YES IT DOES, SIR!"

"Better. Anyway, Computer! Resume log! While the crew and I are having some... Teething problems-"

"Particularly in regards to Su," the helmswoman, Kitsune Konno, commented.

The Chief Engineer chimed in through the intercom.

_"Not my fault Kit-Kit got in way of Su when Su was eating."_

"You could have looked out!" Whined Kitsune.

"Pause," Keitaro grumbled. "Look, can I just have some quiet please?"

"Why don't you use your Ready Room, _Captain_?" Naru asked.

"Because I don't want to move, and I _like_ this chair, and it'll only take a few minutes!" Keitaro insisted.

"Lazy bones," Motoko grumbled. Keitaro rolled his eyes again.

"I saw that, Urashima!"

"Ahem?"

"_Captain_ Urashima!"

"Good, you were meant to. Computer, resume recording. Despite these difficulties, I feel the crew and I are going to get along..."

"Try never, if you're this lazy."

"Pause! Commander, last I checked, this was _my_ ship! So I can record _my log_ wherever I want!"

"Yes you can! But you don't have to do it here!"

"Computer, resume log: Make that _eventually_."

"Captain?" Ship's Counselor, Mutsumi Otohime, interrupted. Keitaro sighed.

"Computer, pause. Yes Counselor?"

"Ara, you seem to be very tense. Can I help you relieve it in any way?"

"I'm sure he can figure out a few ways to relieve himself with you, Mutsumi," Kitsune snickered.

"Urashima!"

"What? And that's _Captain_ Urashima!"

"How dare you tempt Mutsumi into commiting lewd acts for your perverted pleasures!"

"I... _What?_ When did I do that?" Keitaro demanded. Mutsumi moved behind Keitaro's chair and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Are you sure I can't help you relieve some stress, Captain?"

"He doesn't need any stress relief from _you_, Mutsumi," Naru growled, getting up and placing a hand on Keitaro's shoulder. Keitaro gulped and looked between the two women-Naru looked annoyed, Mutsumi looked as serene as ever.

"Oh? But you certainly appear to need some, Commander. I know! We can take care of our stress all together!"

Keitaro just barely managed to keep his mind out of the gutter on that one. He lunged out of his chair and stood behind the ops officer. "Ah, no thank you ladies! I'm fine!"

"Sure you are, Dork," Sarah MacDougal, ship's ops officer, snorted. Keitaro cleared his throat again.

"_Captain_ Dork!"

"That's better. Wait, no it isn't! Look, everyone just stay quiet for a moment." He took a deep breath.

"Computer, resume log. I have every confidence in the abilities of the people under me-"

"So we are under you then?"

"Motoko! Pause! Are you going to be offended by everything I say?"

"Probably."

"Then _be_ offended! Just do it quietly! Computer, resume log. Every confidence in their ability to-"

"Captain!" Cried a young voice. Keitaro groaned.

"Pause. Yes, Shinobu-chan?"

The slight ship's cook blushed severely at his attention on her, as the majority of the bridge crew all shot her and Keitaro dirty looks. "I-I just wanted to ask what you wanted for lunch today. The communications system seems to be out."

"Oh, um, whatever it is I'm sure it'll be nice, Shinobu-chan," Keitaro got out, walking over and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. Shinobu turned bright red.

"Ah... Ah... Th-Th-Thank you C-Captain Sempai...!"

Keitaro flashed her a smile. "Not a problem. Now, get going all right?" He moved to pat her on the shoulder, but whether out of design or simple misfortune, Shinobu shifted just enough for his hand to land on her breast. His hand instinctively squeezed.

"Auu~..." Shinobu moaned.

There was a split second of silence, before all hell broke loose.

"URASHIMA!"

"CAPTAIN YOU PERVERT!"

"Ara ara, Captain! You _are_ in need of some stress relief!"

"Perverted dork!"

"Taking after Kirk, I see, Captain!"

_"Su not want to miss this!"_

"GAAAAAHHHHH!"

He really, _really_ hated this loop...

* * *

"It's all right Captain, I'll have you fixed up in no time," ship's CMO, Doctor Tsuruko Aoyama, said with a comforting smile. Keitaro nodded gratefully as he was led over to the biobed.

"Thank you Doctor... As always, you're a lifesaver..." He laid down on the bed with a sigh, as Tsuruko beamed down at him.

"It's perfectly all right, sir. This is, after all, what I'm here for," she said. Keitaro glanced as her uniform (and especially how it outlined her curves) and studiously focused on the ceiling scanners. Tsuruko noticed this and merely giggled.

"Now hold still," she said, running a medical tricorder over him. "Hmmm... Well Captain, it seems you're as sturdy as ever. No significant injuries or maladies..."

"Oh, that's good," Keitaro said, moving to sit up. Tsuruko, without missing a beat, simply pushed him back down.

"Now Captain, who is the Doctor here?"

"But you said-"

"You are not done just yet," Tsuruko said. She then quite calmly began slipping restraints over his wrists and ankles.

"Uhhh... Tsuruko, what are you doing?" Keitaro asked.

"This next test can be a bit... Exciting, Captain," Tsuruko said. She smiled soothingly. "I just want to be thorough. You understand, don't you?"

"Ah... Certainly," Keitaro said, getting a Very Bad Feeling about this.

"Good. Just a moment, I need to get the scanner warmed up," she said, turning and walking into her office. Leaving Keitaro to stare up at the ceiling.

_Why am I getting this feeling of impending doom?_ He asked himself.

_Probably because the last few times Tsuruko tied you up, you nearly died of exhaustion?_ His brain answered snidely.

Keitaro repressed a shudder. Learning that Tsuruko had killed her husband with too much sex had pushed him to steer totally clear of the nymphomaniac swordswoman. After all, with Motoko's libido, he wasn't sure he could survive _both_ Aoyamas.

Still, maybe he was wrong. Tsuruko did enjoy messing around with people-Perhaps as a doctor she was just teasing him.

"Now Captain..."

Keitaro looked up... And his hopes, as usual, plummeted into the ground like the _Enterprise-_D had done. Tsuruko stood there in a nurse's outfit that may as well have been painted on, and was pulling on a rubber glove.

"I'm going to need to test a few things while the scanner runs," she began in a maddeningly calm voice. "Stamina, reflexes... And I'll need a few, ah..." Her smile widened. "_Samples..._"

"Ah... Doctor? Now now, really, let's talk this over!" Keitaro tried, struggling against his bonds as Tsuruko slinked over.

"Don't worry Captain," she purred. "I'll be gentle... So long as you understand that resistance is futile..."

"Oh hell..."

* * *

_More to come._


	5. Cannibal Chef Shinobu Loop

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _I swear to God, I wrote this on a bet. It's really disturbing, probably the most disturbing thing I've written in a long time. It is yet another loop, only Shinobu and Keitaro are the ones who have been looping and Shinobu went a bit… Insane. _

_You'll see… I apologize in advance.  
_

_

* * *

_

"Doo doo doo, daa daa daa, don't know what to say to you," Shinobu sang cheerfully, as she deftly sharpened her favorite butchering knife. Slowly she turned her smile away from the large pot, and to the tied-up, struggling Keitaro.

"Sh-Shinobu, really, you don't need to do this! Really!" Keitaro insisted. Shinobu hummed, and drew her knife lightly over her cheek. She sighed breathily.

"Mouuu... But Sempai, I _want_ to do this," she purred. "I want you inside me~..."

"I could just fuck you, you know!" Keitaro tried frantically. "I-I'll do it for free! As long as you want!"

"Mmm... And that would be nice," Shinobu cooed, and ran her knife  
lightly over Keitaro's throat. She cut his skin, and then bent down to lick the blood she drew. She shivered and moaned, her red stained lips pressing against his skin.

"Oh-Oh God," Keitaro shuddered. "C-C'mon Shinobu... This isn't...!"

"Shhh," Shinobu murmured, and continued to lap up his blood. "It'll be good for you~... And besides," she grinned, licking her bloody chops. "Anything that happens will be fixed next loop..."

With that, Shinobu plunged her knife into Keitaro's chest, and the ronin screamed. Eagerly, the deranged loli carved his chest open, slowly pulling his ribs apart to expose his internal organs and still-beating heart. Shinobu licked her lips and hummed as she traced the arteries all over the pumping organ.

"I always wanted your heart, Sempai~," she whispered. She tapped his cardiac pacemaker, before leaning down to plant a kiss on the frantically pumping organ. "Mmm... And I'm sure it'll be so tasty~..."

"Sh-Shinobu... No... Please..." Keitaro gasped. Shinobu winked.

"Ever hear of Sagawa Issei, sempai? He ate a beautiful woman to take her beauty into himself... Mmm... And your heart~... It'll be mine..." She cut the ventricles, and slowly lifted the still-beating organ in her hand. Keitaro watched, eyes widened as the seemingly innocent-looking girl shot him a beautific, gore-covered smile.

"Next time... You can have mine, o-ne-gai, Sempai~?" She crooned.

The last thing Keitaro saw before the loop reset was Shinobu taking a big bite out of his heart.

His last thought: _Note to self: Get Peorth to keep Shinobu from looping... At least with serial kill-URK!_


	6. Lemon Loop: Motoko

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _Yeah, I'm sorry about that last chapter. I've decided to put the lemons back in, since I put _that_ in.__ Time-loop shenanigans with Motoko up first.  
_

_

* * *

_  
Sex with Motoko was always slightly different in every loop, but a few things remained constant. Taking her in a train, for instance, or in public, got her extremely hot.

"Ah!" She gasped loudly as Keitaro groped her ass, while his other hand pressed against her stomach. Pressure points he'd activated a hundred times before were pumped with his ki, and Keitaro smirked a bit in satisfaction as she stiffened and pressed her hands against the window.

"St-Stop it!" She hissed, anxiously looking around. He knew her anger and fear-Being caught by anyone while she's being groped and getting _aroused_ off it would be absolutely humiliating. Her pride couldn't take it.

"Stop me," Keitaro murmured, boldly slipping his hand into her _hakama_ and finding her panty-clad sex. His other hand undid her top, and slipped inside, immediately going for her breasts. From behind, he ground his hardon against her ass, and pressed his chest up against her back.

"Ah!" She trembled, Keitaro's blitz hitting her in every physical weak point. "I-I'll kill you...!" She struggled hard, but where she could usually break free in an instant, she was literally fighting herself-Her desires against her pride. Keitaro was obviously in favor of her desires winning, and helped them along.

"Hnnn... You're wet," Keitaro murmured, and Motoko moaned weakly as he rubbed her outer lips. He dry-humped her a few times, and her attempts to free herself only ground her ass harder against him.

"I-I'll kill you, I'll kill-!"

Keitaro's hand took a tight grip on her chest wrappings, and then tore them off. Below, he slid his middle finger inside her pussy, and smiled when he felt how wet and hot she was inside.

"AH!" She arched her back, her neck pressing against his shoulder. Keitaro took the opportunity to trap her lips in a kiss, quickly dominating her mouth. "Mmmngh...!"

A second finger in her pussy, and some light tweaks to her nipples followed. Her resistance faded as he pleased her, and the resulting feedback from her ki proved it. It helped that he'd found an instinctive, subconscious connection between himself and the girls between loops-One that allowed him to gain their trust more easily, as he felt familiar.

"Mwah!" He broke the kiss and nuzzled her. Below, his fingers plunged in and out of her pussy, which had become sopping wet to the point a _schlick schlick schlick_ sound could be heard with every penetration.

"Ah... Ahhh...! I-I... N-Nooo..." She moaned, even as she pressed her breasts into his groping hand. Keitaro nuzzled her neck, and gave her a loving smile.

"Just enjoy yourself," he whispered. He shifted just enough to allow his thumb to bump against her clit, slowly poking out from it's protective hood. Motoko cried out, and her sex contracted tightly around his thrusting fingers.

"I-I-I, ahhhh...!" He kissed her again, and slid his fingers in to the knuckle. Her contractions repeated, and she became significantly wetter as she moaned into his mouth.

"Mmm... Mmm..." Keitaro broke the kiss again, and enjoyed her cries and gasps as his fingers continued their relentless assault.

"Ahh... Ahhh... Ahhh...!" She stared into his eyes, cheeks flushed, brow shiny with sweat, beautiful mouth open as she gasped for breath.

"What's your name?" Keitaro whispered.

"M-Motoko, aahh...!" She managed. Keitaro kissed her cheek, and whispered hotly in her ear.

"My name is Keitaro... I want you to scream it when you cum~..."

Motoko bit her lower lip and repressed a moan. Keitaro pinched one of her nipples almost painfully, and her lips opened.

"Ahhh... Ahhh...!"

Keitaro went all out-He slid her hakama and panties clean off, and pressed his hardon right up between her ass cheeks. Simultaneously, his fingers inside her curled, finding her G-spot and pouring a bit of ki into this most sensitive of spots. Finally, his other hand returned to her breasts, and squeezed hard as he gently bit her neck. All of this combined overwhelmed Motoko, these various sensations breaking the pent-up pressure inside her. Below, she squirted all over Keitaro's hand. Above, she screamed.

"KEITARROOOOOO!"

Keitaro's fingers continued their work, until Motoko's legs became like jelly and he had to catch her. She kept repeating his name in between gasps, her multiple climax blasting through her body with the force of a small bomb. Keitaro held her against him, and slowed his fingers to a stop, letting her catch her breath.

"Haaa... Haa... Haa..."

"Mmm..." He nuzzled the back of her head. "How was that, Motoko-chan~?"

"Ahhh... Ahhh..." She looked up at him, a bit of defiance in her gaze. "I... I will not... Haa... L-Let this go, unpunished..."

Keitaro sighed. She was so stubborn. Still, she wouldn't be Motoko if she wasn't, and he did love that about her. He slowly picked her up, and turned her around. He held her up against the wall of the train, and undid his pants. Her eyes widened and she tried to shove him away.

"N-No...! No, don't!" Keitaro kissed her again, and was gratified when she weakly kissed him back. He pressed up against her, hardened member threatening to touch her open sex.

"Mwah... N-No... This is... This is raahh..." She moaned as he licked her neck, one of her significant weak points.

"If it is," he murmured, "stop me." Keitaro looked her right in the eyes. "You could kill me in an instant, couldn't you?"

Motoko blushed deeply under his gaze, and her eyes glanced over at her sword, sitting with her bag nearby. Keitaro made no movements, even though he could feel the heat of her sex washing over his cock.

She slowly looked back at him. Keitaro smiled, and kissed her in the same motion he pressed his cock into her entrance.

"Mmmph...!" She groaned into his mouth, fingers clutching at his shoulders. He groaned back, loving the familiar warmth and tightness of her pussy. It was slow going, but worth every painfully pleasurable moment as he went deeper, and deeper...

"Mwaaahhh... Ahhhh... Y-You're in meee," Motoko moaned. "It... Ahhh...!" Keitaro tightened his grip around her waist, and nuzzled her breasts. There were some advantages to being shorter than her, he thought, as he took one of her nipples into his mouth.

"Ohhh... Ohh... K-Keitaro," she sighed, her strong legs now wrapping around his waist. Held tightly within and without her, Keitaro pulled back almost all the way out of her. At her whimper, he pushed back inside, and nuzzled her throat.

"Ah!"

"Hnngh..." Keitaro kept his face pressed against her throat, and began to fuck her gently. Each thrust brought him a little deeper inside, illiciting all sorts of wonderful sounds from her lips.

_Mmm... I love that moan of hers, it's really throaty... And that sigh, aahh, that's great too... A hard quick thrust and-Yeah, she squeaked, so cute..._ He pushed deeper and deeper, until he felt the head of his cock press squarely against her cervix. This was another reason he loved fucking Motoko-They fit so perfectly.

... Well, in all honesty, he fit pretty damn nicely in all of the other girls, too, but every time with one of them was special.

Now though... He was getting close, and he had his trump card to play. Something that got her _insanely_ hot, due to other issues of hers.

"Mmm... Y-You feel so good," he growled, thrusting a bit harder. This got more cute squeaks out of the kendoka. "I'm gonna cum inside you..."

Motoko stiffened, and weakly tried to push him away.

"Ahhh... N-Nooo... Y-You'll get me pregnant!" She whimpered. Keitaro looked her right in the eyes, giving her the most commanding look he could manage, as he plowed her even harder.

"Haaa... Th-Then I'll just have to, mm, take responsibility, haaa?" He kissed her deeply, stifling her protests as he pounded her even harder. Her struggles lessened, and she dug her nails into his back harshly. It was lucky he was so durable-She'd probably seriously injure anyone else who did this to her.

"Hnn... Hnnn...!"

"Mmmngh! MMMPH!" Motoko cried back against his lips. Keitaro broke the kiss and groaned, climax rising up.

"I-I'm gonna cum! Haa! And g-get you pregnant, Motoko-chaaaannn...!" He hugged her tightly and groaned as he shot off, his first ejeaculation blasting at point-blank range into her cervix. Motoko opened her mouth to scream, but only managed a weak gurgle as she gushed all over his genitals and lower stomach in her own orgasm.

"Uwaahhhnn..." She sobbed as her orgasms continued, helped by Keitaro's own lengthened climax. He held her tightly, not allowing a single drop to spill... Though despite his size and her tightness, some of his seed leaked out, joining the small puddle beneath them.

"Haa... Haaa..." Keitaro caught his own breath slowly, just enjoying how tightly she held him back.

One passenger began clapping happily, and a number of them joined in. Motoko's daze faded, and she turned bright red. However, a soft, shuddering moan let Keitaro know that the attention had extended her orgasm just a little bit longer, and he smiled.

Giving a respectful nod to the watching passengers, he pulled out when he was sure her orgasms had ended. Motoko sighed softly as their excess juices flowed out of her, dripping onto the floor below. Keitaro kept his arms firmly around her waist as she set her feet down.

"Oooh..." She cooed, and leaned up against him. Keitaro slid a hand up over her back, and rubbed her beneath her loose top.

"Mmm... How was that, Motoko-chan?" Keitaro murmured. Motoko sighed and nuzzled him.

"G-Good... So good..." She slowly looked up at him as the train stopped.

"Take me again," she whispered, fists tightly holding his shirt. Keitaro checked outside the window-It was their stop.

"Okay," he agreed. "But not here... This is my stop."

"Mine... Mine too," she murmured. "So... Take me again somewhere else."

"I will," Keitaro agreed.

After helping her get dressed and get her luggage, they got off the train... And then he took her in the station bathroom. They cleaned up, got dressed, headed off again... And again, she wanted to get fucked, and so they stopped in a park. And then a restaurant bathroom. A tree near a highway. A telephone booth...

Keitaro sighed. This was how it always happened, really. He took Motoko like she wanted to be taken, and she turned into a nymphomaniac. She'd slow down eventually, only wanting sex at a more reasonable rate, but for now, he had little choice but to go along with it.

As he was being ridden by the horny girl, cars slowing nearby to get a better look at them, he reached up to fondle her breasts. She moaned, and looked down at him with a loving smile. He couldn't help but return it.

_Maybe the others have problems with nympho girls... But... It's a small price to pay to see that,_ he decided.

* * *

_Am I forgiven for that last chapter?_


	7. Perfectly Calm Keitaro Loop: Kitsune

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _A bit of a lime instead of a lemon this time, featuring Kitsune.__ I may write a lemon if enough people want it.  
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"Keitaro, I have a question to ask of you," Kitsune said. Keitaro looked over at her, and his Ero-Vision activated immediately. He managed to keep himself from nosebleeding all over his lap and shirt.

Kitsune almost always had some seductive qualities in her body language, but his "Ero-Vision" let him see just how very, _very_ hot she was. Desire seemed to fill her aura, barely contained underneath a simply sensual countenance.

"Ah... Go ahead," he managed. Kitsune smiled, and leaned lover the chair he was sitting in, large, heavy breasts hanging right in front of him.

"About Motoko," she said. Mischief entered her aura. "What did you do to her?"

Damnit... He couldn't help it. He had a soft spot for tsundere women (Naru didn't count because she just kept hitting him until he fucked her into a gooey mess), and Motoko in particular. And through the Ero-Vision, he saw that she would do anything for him, _anything_ at all, so long as he loved her. And, for all his aggression in various loops towards her, he did.

But in this particular loop, he'd decided to shut her up in his classic way-Seducing her and leaving her a trembling, happy wreck. He'd done it on the train she'd taken here in the original timeline, and convinced her to not be overtly affectionate towards him.

Kitsune, however, was very observant. Hell, she probably knew he'd been taking Motoko in the hot springs, on the roof, in the woods, on the train...

Hey, some loops he liked to be monogamous. Well, he liked to _try_ to be monogamous.

"... You probably already know," Keitaro replied calmly. "So, why don't you just say what you have to say?"

Kitsune's eyes opened all the way in shock, but she quickly recovered. "Well... I was hoping to draw things out a bit, but if you're insistent... I want you to pay my bar tab and let me stay rent free for at least two months... Unless you'd like me to spill the beans about this to everyone, mmm?"

Keitaro mentally sighed. Kitsune was horny after watching him and Motoko go at it. Really, it wasn't that hard to read her anymore, even without the Ero-Vision.

So, with that in mind, he yanked her into his lap.

"Ah!" Kitsune cried, and stared at him. Her eyes were definitely pretty, he reflected. He could look into them for hours.

"I have a counter-proposal," he growled low in his throat. He pulled her into a kiss, and his hands went to every sensitive spot on her body. She moaned helplessly into his mouth, and broke the kiss.

"Kon~... I have a feeling I know what it is~," she purred back.

* * *

A few hours of sex later, Kitsune was cuddled up behind him, a broad smile on her face as she held Keitaro tightly. Keitaro sighed.

"Mmmm..." She hummed happily. "That... Was _grrrrreat_..."

"Yeah," Keitaro said. He then smirked, and pulled out of her grasp. Kitsune blinked.

"Eh?"

"That's worth about four months of rent, on time, right there, don't you think? Not to mention some chores, helping out around the inn, and a few other things," Keitaro said, calmly getting dressed.

"You-You... You're telling me, that if I want you to keep having sex with me, I need to... To _pay_ for it?" Kitsune demanded. Keitaro finished dressing, and nodded. Kitsune trembled in a mix of anger and lust.

"I... Hn," she huffed, looking away. "It wasn't that great."

"Sure it wasn't," Keitaro said, hiding his grin as he saw Kitsune get hotter through the Ero-Vision. Probably his arrogant tone. Daddy issues, this one.

"I-I'm just fine without it... You can't charge me anyway, it's illegal," she continued.

"You're breaking my heart," Keitaro said drolly. "Anyway, I'll expect the rent on time tommorrow. If you pay it, well..."

"Well...?" Kitsune asked, trying to sound disinterested. Keitaro smirked and shrugged.

"Page 47. Kama Sutra. Updated edition." He turned, letting it sink into Kitsune's brain.

His foot was just outside the door when she jumped him from behind.

"Ah... Perhaps I... Spoke too soon," she murmured. Keitaro managed to restrain a chuckle, and let himself get dragged back inside.

It was nice to feel like a winner sometimes...

* * *

_Kitsune can be difficult to write sometimes, hopefully I've done a decent job with her.__  
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	8. Lemon Loop: Shinobu and Su

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _The return of the Shinobu/Keitaro/Su lemon loop. Please keep in mind that for the purposes of this story they are both legal… In Japan. _

_That's my story and I'm sticking to it._

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He really, probably should have known better. Keitaro had plenty of experience with Shinobu and Su in a sexual sense. He'd screwed the two of them silly many a time loop, and like with all the other girls, it had never gotten old.

But he'd never tried to take them both at the same time. With Mutsumi and Naru? Sure, he could do that. Motoko and her sister? Also doable. But Su's boundless energy and Shinobu's incredible enthusiasm, and BOTH their unbelievable stamina made taking them both on a daunting task.

It wasn't like Keitaro was afraid of dying, mind you. If he did, the loop started over. And it wasn't like he felt like a pedophile-Looping so many times basically meant that he was going to be older than everyone anyway, so it was a moot point, especially with how mature they really were. But screwing both of them was still kind of a challenge.

He had to admit, he liked challenges though. So, he decided to consider it as something of an experiment.

So, he found himself once again on the train, and spying on women he loved with all his heart: In this case, Shinobu and Su in their ridiculously perverted-looking schoolgirl uniforms. Seriously, their skirts just bordered on the indecent.

_I'll have to see the school principal about this,_ he decided as he moved through the crowded train right behind the two girls. Su was happily babbling about her new invention, as Shinobu stared out the window, nodding every so often with a smile that clearly said she enjoyed Su's enthusiasm, but didn't understand a word she was saying.

_Okay, here goes,_ he thought. Gently, he lowered his hand down, and slid it up the back of her skirt. Finding her pert bottom easily, he gave it a light squeeze.

"I-Ah!" Shinobu started, and Su looked at her friend.

"Mm? Shinobu all right?"

The blue-haired girl stared at his reflection in the window. Moving quickly, he tapped a few pressure points over her ass, flooding her body with warmth. She trembled, and he smiled warmly at her and winked.

"I... I..." Conflicted, Shinobu's crush and feelings warred with her insecurities. Keitaro gave a little more support to the former, mouthing 'Just relax-I want you to feel good, Shinobu-chan' to her in the mirror as his fingers lightly trailed over her cleft. Her face already bright red, she slowly nodded.

"Ahh... I... I'm fine... What were you saying?"

Su blinked, but resumed. Shinobu bit her lower lip, holding back a moan as Keitaro's fingers slid over her ass and between her legs with a light, almost teasing touch. His other hand slid around underneath her top, pushing her bra up. This allowed him to squeeze her small but perky breasts, and thanks to Shinobu's position, Su was none the wiser. Shinobu's breathing deepened, and she scooted back a little. Keitaro pressed lightly back against her, and enjoyed her sigh at the contact.

"S-Sempai," she whispered. Su, while rather hyper, was no fool, and she finally took a good look at Shinobu.

"Ah? Manager, you-MMPH!" Keitaro bent over and shut her up with a deep kiss, and attacked a few of her pressure points. The MolMolese princess groaned into his mouth, and his skillful strikes to her sensitive points made resistance harder.

"Ah... S-Sempai..." Shinobu said, looking confused. Keitaro turned and kissed her deeply in turn, and both girls gasped as his hands found their way underneath their skirts. This was apparently a day where Su had gone without panties, and Keitaro took advantage of the situation by rubbing her pussy in just the right way.

"Auuu... M-Manager~," Su moaned. She clutched at him tightly, and nuzzled the side of his head. One thing that was consistent between loops was how Su had little trouble with slaking her lusts with him. Mol-Mol was pretty liberal in that regard.

"Aren't you a pervert?" Su whispered in his ear. Keitaro broke off his kiss with Shinobu, leaving her to gasp out. He looked over at Su with a slight smirk.

"Do you mind it?" He murmured back, as her sex grew moist quickly underneath his fingers. Su moaned and shook her head.

"N-No... Mmm... Su likes it," she said softly back. Keitaro felt Shinobu nuzzle his cheek, and he turned to smile back at her.

"S-Sempai... Kiss me again?" Shinobu asked. Keitaro obliged her.

_So far, so good..._ He was fortunate they weren't Awake this time. It'd let him pace himself...

Per the standard operating procedure of Japanese businessmen in a crowded train, none of them raised a fuss over Keitaro's actions. Some of them probably thought they'd get a shot at the girls too. Which was something Keitaro would not stand for. They were his, _period_.

But, he did enjoy showing off how much he'd been blessed with. It helped that all of the girls could be brought around to some exhibition, if he knew what buttons to push.

"Sempai... Ah..." Shinobu moaned softly. Keitaro smiled, and placed a hand on her head.

"Get on your knees, Shinobu-chan," he said softly. She nodded, skin flushed bright red, and complied. He pulled her hands to his fly, and without being asked she undid it. As for Su, he had a different plan in mind.

"Oof!" She grunted, as he lifted her up and pulled her into an embrace. She wrapped her legs securely around his waist, and looked at him curiously.

"Keitaro, what's-Mmmph!" He cut her off with a deep kiss, as his hands roamed her body. Below, Shinobu had freed his cock, and she squeaked in some shock as she saw it's size.

"Ah... It..." She looked up at him. "It's bigger... Than before..." She looked away, and Keitaro smiled at her. He rubbed her head in affection.

"Just suck on it..." His eyes grew a bit mischevious. "Like you drew in that sketch of yours."

"Ee-Eep!" Shinobu gasped. "H-How did you...?"

"Mmmm... Su liked that drawing too~," the Mol Mol princess teased. "Come on, Shinobu... Go on. I'll take care of his top." She turned back to Keitaro with a leer that seemed wrong on a girl her age, and she kissed him deeply, tongue burrowing deep into his mouth. Shinobu trembled a bit, and after taking a deep breath, she brought her lips over his member and began to suckle.

Keitaro moaned deeply into Su's mouth, as Shinobu's warm tongue began licking all over him. He pushed deeper into her warm, wet mouth, his tip touching the back of her throat. Shinobu hummed, and this is when the reason he loved getting head from Shinobu came into play: She took his cock down her throat without gagging.

"Unnngh," Keitaro groaned, releasing Su from their tongue wrestling as Shinobu hummed again. Su gripped his collar and pulled him into another deep kiss, to the point he swore he could feel her tongue almost to the back of his throat.

"Mmnnnggh..."

"Hnn... Hnnghle..." Shinobu closed her eyes, a warm blush lighting up the entirety of her skin. Her small fists balled up the fabric of Keitaro's shirt as she deepthroated him, his reactions making his cock shift and move in her mouth in all sorts of subtle, but arousing ways. Her panties were soaked, and she breathed hard through her nose as she took him down into her throat again, and again, and again.

Su was just as active, thoroughly dominating Keitaro's mouth with her clever tongue, and running her hands all over his chest and back. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who knew something about pressure points.

"Hnnngh..." He reached down and slid his fingers back into Su's pussy, plunging them inside her fast and ruthlessly. Su's assault on his mouth became less intense as she moaned, and he pressed her back up against the window, dominating her now. His other hand went to her breasts underneath her shirt, and squeezed them tightly. This inadvertantly made him push so deep into Shinobu's throat she tried to push him away for breath.

"Mmngh... S-Sorry," he whispered down to Shinobu, as Su panted for breath in his ear. Shinobu looked up at him adoringly.

"It... It's all right, Sempai," she whispered back. She took him back into her mouth with a happy croon, and when he was back in her throat, she unleashed a deadly weapon in her arsenal: She _purred,_ the vibrations running through his cock and the rest of his body.

"Ohhh Sh-Shinobuuuu," he groaned, pulling out of her throat but keeping his cock in her mouth. His reasoning became clear to Shinobu a moment later, as his semen flooded her mouth. Her eyes widened, but slowly became half-lidded as the taste and smell electrified her senses. Slowly, she swallowed every drop, not daring to let it go to waste.

"Mmmmm..." Keitaro sighed happily, and caressed Shinobu's cheek. She nuzzled his hand back, as Su looked down in amazement.

"Wow... You drank it all down!" She smiled. "Su is impressed... Haa..." She looked at Keitaro with bedroom eyes.

"Su is also hot and wet," she whispered, one tanned hand reaching down and grasping his cock. "Su needs this inside her~..."

"Ohhh... S-Su," Shinobu whimpered from below. "I... I need that too..." A small puddle had formed between her legs, and as she shifted her thighs she moaned softly. Keitaro smiled at both girls.

"Don't worry... I'll take care of you both..."

"Stand up, Shinobu-chan," Keitaro said huskily. The blue-haired girl rose, and Keitaro embraced her, pulling her into a deep kiss.

"Mmmm..." She moaned cutely into his mouth. Keitaro broke the kiss after a few moments, and treated Su to the same. In all things, a threesome had to be equal.

_Pearls of wisdom from Aunt Haruka,_ he thought wryly, his tongue wrestling Su's. Their lips separated, and Keitaro took a moment to appreciate the expressions of both girls. Swollen lips, red cheeks, wanton eyes...

"S-Sempai... Me first, please..." Shinobu begged softly. "Me first, please..." She nuzzled his chest. She froze when she felt Su's hand on her back, and turned her face to look at Su. The Mol Mol girl smiled, and Shinobu's guilt rose up.

"I... I-I'm sorry Su, I just..." Shinobu tried, but Su's tongue and lips occupied her mouth. "Mmmm...?"

"It's all right, Shinobu-chan," Su purred against Shinobu's lips. "Nyah~..." She licked her lips, and Keitaro felt his mouth grow dry at the sensual, loving act. "I love you..." She nuzzled Shinobu, and groped her small breasts through her top.

"Ah-Ahhh...!" Shinobu gasped.

"Just as long as we both love Keitaro... I'll be happy," Su said. "All right?"

"A-All right..." Shinobu whispered. "I-I love you too, Su..."

"I know..." Su smiled. She looked at me with older eyes than you'd expect on a girl her age-Filled with sensual heat, love, lust... His dick twitched, and he smiled back with equal warmth.

It wouldn't take too long for Su to give Shinobu the ability to "grow up" under red moon light, whether it was the real thing or artificial. When that happened... Well, he spent a lot of time with the two in "study sessions".

"S-Sempai," Shinobu whispered, her small hand grasping his member. Keitaro hissed a breath, and nodded to her.

"Relax," he murmured, his hands sliding between her legs and gripping her tight bottom. Shinobu sighed as she was lifted up, and instinctively she raised her legs. She couldn't care less that she was going to be fucked in a train full of people-Her Sempai was taking her, and that was all that mattered.

"He'll be gentle," Su crooned, one tanned hand reaching down to her panties. They snapped off, making Shinobu gasp in surprise. Su just grinned.

"All my underwear is easy to remove," Su said. If she could have blushed any harder, Shinobu would have. Keitaro chose this moment to push inside, and he went into a mildly meditative trance as he slid into Shinobu's familiar, tight, wet, and hot pussy.

"Oooohhh...!" Shinobu moaned. Keitaro focused his ki, making sure the energy concentrated around the tip of his cock as it made contact with Shinobu's hymen. Her eyes widened and she released another loud moan as he pushed through. He'd done a quick and dirty technique for that-Use enough ki of a particular "frequency", and you could trick the body into thinking pain was pleasure. Shinobu tightly gripping him inside and out as she gasped desperately for breath was proof that not only had it worked, he'd probably set off a small orgasm inside her.

All the better-He never wanted to cause pain to Shinobu unless she wanted it. Or any of the girls, for that matter.

"Haaa... Haa... Haaa... Haaa..." Shinobu gasped as he went to work, thrusting into her with machine-like precision. He ground up against her G-spot as he slid inside, and got deeper, and deeper into her tight sex with every fuck. Her short nails dug into his back as her legs hooked themselves around his waist.

"Oooh...!" She moaned again as the tip of his cock made contact with her cervix-Most girls, during their first time, this would really hurt, but another quick and dirty application of ki produced the opposite effect.

"S-Sempaaahhh," she moaned loudly as he shifted his hips slightly, digging the crown of his dick into the entrance to her womb. Her mouth hung wide open, her face totally red. She was absolutely adorable, and he pulled her into a deep, loving kiss as he resumed plowing her.

"Mmmff... Hnnph... Gnnph!" She cried against his lips, her pussy molding itself perfectly around him. He sped up for six thrusts, slamming into her hard enough to make an audible slapping sound in the tightly-packed train car. He knew the people weren't even pretending to not watch-Wasn't exactly something you could ignore.

"Hwaaah," Keitaro breathed, breaking their kiss. He nuzzled Shinobu's nose, enjoying the cute gasps and moans she made. "I'm going to cum, Shinobu-chan..."

"Ohhhh...!" Shinobu moaned, and he felt her legs and arms pull against him harder.

"Do you want me to cum inside?" He asked softly, never breaking his pace. Shinobu looked him in the eyes and nodded frantically.

"Y-Yessss... Yesss..." She gasped. "I-Inside, inside...!"

Keitaro pulled almost all the way back out of her, just leaving the tip of his cock inside her. Shinobu whimpered, the tears at the corner of her eyes from pleasure and the thought he might actually not follow through. All thought fled from her mind the moment he thrust back in, grunting as he hit her cervix dead-on.

"AAAHH-MMMMMNNNGGGHHHH!" Her scream was muffled by Su's hand, and Keitaro felt Shinobu squirt, her pussy tightly squeezing him. He saw it in her eyes and felt it through her ki-She wanted him to fill her womb, she was desperate for his seed.

No different from any other loop, then, he thought, as he grunted her name and ejaculated. Shinobu's eyes rolled back into her head as she squirted _again_, one climax now becoming many. Keitaro's own orgasm was extended, and he took deep breaths as she milked him for all he was worth.

Shinobu's eyes crossed adorably, and became half-lidded as she slowly came down from her high. Su removed her hand, revealing that the blue-haired girl wore a deliriously happy smile.

"S-Sempai... Love you," Shinobu managed to pant. Keitaro smiled at her, and brushed her bangs off her sweaty forehead.

"I love you too, Shinobu-chan," Keitaro whispered. He gave her spine a quick jolt of ki to keep her from fainting-That wouldn't do at all.

"Hold onto Su now, Shinobu," Su whispered, as Keitaro pulled out. Shinobu moaned softly as her pussy began to leak, a potent mixture of her cum and Keitaro's. A gasp escaped her mouth as Su's fingers scooped up some of the mixed cum-Those same fingers bringing the emission to Su's mouth.

"Mmmm... You taste good~," Su purred. She gave Keitaro that same dark, sensual look. "What will we taste like, I wonder?"

"Let's find out," Keitaro murmured. Su moved Shinobu's hands to wrap around her waist, and Keitaro scooted over. Shinobu leaned against Su, barely able to support her weight. She rested her head on Su's shoulder, and the Mol Mol girl licked her lips.

"Love Su," she whispered. Keitaro stroked his dick a few times, and focused more ki through it to speed his recovery. His other hand rubbed Su's sex, as the Mol-Mol princess raised her legs and wrapped them around his waist. One of her arms went around Shinobu's waist, further supporting her friend.

"Always," Keitaro replied with a small smile. It might've sounded cheesy to anyone else, but Keitaro really didn't care. He spread her lower lips and pushed inside, enjoying the low moan Su released in response.

"Oooohhh..." She took a deep breath, and lifted up her skirt. This allowed both Keitaro and Shinobu a better view of their mating-His hard, stiff cock pushing inside, her pink pussy lips barely giving way to his intrusion, glistening with her arousal.

"Haaa..." Shinobu sighed, and, to Su's surprise, she reached down a hand and pressed two fingers against Su's clit.

"Oooh...! Sh-Shinobuuuuhhh..." Su closed her eyes and released another low moan as Keitaro pushed in deeper. Her male lover grunted as he pushed against her tightness-Su being very strong made her even tighter.

"H-Hee!" She cried as Keitaro pushed past her hymen-A mild twinge of pain that immediately felt better as he worked his way in deeper.

"Uhhh," he moaned quietly. Her gaze grew unfocused as she was further impaled, until she was staring through Keitaro rather than at him, whimpering sexily before she let out a grunt as he bottomed out in her vagina.

"It... It's in," Su moaned, looking star-struck. Staring down at their joining, she rocked her hips from side to side, and whimpered at the sensation.

"Haaa..." Keitaro focused, once again entering a somewhat-meditative trance as he began to make love to her. Slowly pulling out, and then pushing back in, he soon reached a good rhythm, which made Su moan sexily each time he bottomed out. She squeaked as Shinobu's hand continued to rub her, and the blonde and the blunette shared a deep kiss.

"Ummm..." Su broke the kiss with a gasp as Keitaro found her cervix. "Uuuu... Uuuu... Uuuu..." She fixed her eyes on Keitaro as he increased his speed, now pounding into her hard.

"Uhhh... S-Su is... Going to cum," she managed. Keitaro grunted, and used his free hand to do something he knew would drive her wild. Using her juices which were running down her ass at this point, he lubricated his fingers, and pushed two of them up her tight asshole. Su's eyes dilated as she gasped.

"Cum, Princess," Keitaro hissed, thrusting into both of her holes. "Cum hard... Cum for me... Just for me... Squirt like a hose..."

"Uuu...uuu...uuu...uuu..." She threw her head back and let out a loud, wail like sound as it happened, her orgasm going off like a bomb as she squirted just like he ordered, in a long, forceful burst. Keitaro's shirt was going to be soaked, but he didn't care. To further drive her wild, he actually pulled out of her pussy, removed his fingers from her ass... And switched places, gritting his teeth as he slammed into her ass.

"HUNGH!" Su cried out. His fingers found her G-Spot inside her pussy as Shinobu's pinched her clit. The blonde's expression became truly depraved as she came again, her toes curling and her back arching as every thrust seemed to set her off harder and harder than the last.

"UHHHHHH! K-KEI! KEI!" She cried out. Shinobu didn't think to cover her mouth, and again, Keitaro didn't care. He instincts could be boiled down to this, in regards to the girls and the other men in the train:

_I am the alpha male. Fuck the rest of you, I'll fuck my women where I want. You can watch, knowing you can never have what I have. Fucking cockaroaches..._

He would have wondered why his inner alpha male sounded like Tony Montana, but Keitaro had more important things to care about.

"Oh Keitaro...Keitaro...Keitaro..." Su crooned as she came yet again. "...Uuuuu..." She was completely struck, overwhelmed by this beast of a man fucking her so amazingly.

"Ungh! Ungh! Ungh! Ungh! Hnnnnnnggghhh...!" Keitaro kissed her deeply, and a second later she felt his seed shoot inside her ass.

She kissed him back hungrily, her tongue probing his mouth before she pulled away. Shinobu gave her another kiss, one which the Mol-Mol princess eagerly returned, as Keitaro finished shooting his seed inside her ass, painting her bowels white.

"Haa... Haa... Haa... Haa..." Keitaro focused, catching his breath. Su and Shinobu continued to kiss, their tongues wrestling each other eagerly. At last, they broke for breath, and looked at Keitaro.

Su panted like a dog, her tongue hanging out as drooled, wearing a depraved smile. Shinobu also panted, drool dripping from the corner of her mouth, as she smiled dreamily at her sempai.

The train came to a stop. Keitaro checked it, and internally grinned. _Right on time._

"Come on," he said quietly, pulling out of Su's ass (an action that made the girl moan softly) and picking up their bags.

"Where... Where are we going?" Shinobu managed. Keitaro wrapped his strong arms around both girls, and led them off the train, ignoring the stares and gasps. He paid no heed to the applause he received, nor the panties one girl threw at him.

Okay, maybe he paid a _little_ heed to that, but later.

"Love hotel," he said.

"Uuu... H-How long?" Su asked. Keitaro just smirked.

"How long do you want to stay?" He asked softly.

It turned out that both girls wanted to stay for the rest of the day. Something Keitaro had been expecting, but was happy about nevertheless.

He fucked them both rotten, together and individually while the other recovered or showered. He took them in the hotel room shower, on the floor, against the door, the window, on the balcony-Hell, they even used the bed a few times. They only took breaks to eat or cool down-The rest of the time, sex.

By the end of it, both girls were sore, gooey, warm, happy messes, and cuddled against him on either side as they slept. Keitaro held them both, and smiled as he finally broke the trance and allowed himself to feel.

He was tired, that was for sure. But it was definitely the best kind of tired.

"Experiment complete..." He murmured to himself as he nodded off. "Result... Success."

He was definitely going to try this again... Maybe in the loop after the next.

* * *

_Still doing my penance for Chapter Five. Lemon loops are good for the soul... I guess. Sort of. Maybe. _

_... Whatever, more stuff next chapter.  
_


	9. EroFist of the North Star

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _For fellow fans of Hokuto no Ken, aka Fist of the North Star. And I don't mean the crappy live action movie._

_

* * *

_

_Woah... Never been through that kind of loop before,_ Keitaro thought, shaking his head clear as he looked around his new surroundings. The hot springs, of course. And, naturally, he was right at the moment Naru put on her glasses and screamed for help. In that instant, Keitaro knew what he had to do.

"ATAH!" Keitaro cried, his fingers lashing out and striking two pressure points on Naru's chest. The auburn-haired girl's face turned bright red.

"Wha-?"

"ATATATATATATATATA WATAH!" Keitaro cried, his fingers blurring and striking every pressure point on Naru's naked body he could reach. _"Urashima-Do! Ero-Ken Rendan!_"

"Wh-Wh-What the hell was that? You pervert, I'm going to kill you!" Naru cried. Keitaro turned his back to her, letting his bangs shadow his face.

"It's over," he said.

"Huh?"

"You're already dead," Keitaro said. Naru's entire body blushed bright red, and her eyes rolled back into her head.

"Whaaaaauuuuuu~!"

She fell back, her mind swiftly being blown away by a multiple orgasm... And then another, and another, and another, and another... She was squirting and gushing, and her hormones were so intense her breasts began leaking milk.

"AAAAHHHHH! AAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH~!"

Finally, it was over, and Naru was left a trembling, helpless, sweaty wreck of a woman. Keitaro turned back to look at her, as she panted desperately for breath.

"... Metaphorically speaking," Keitaro amended. Naru looked up at him, eyes glazed.

"Auuuuu~"

* * *

_I really should be nicer to Naru, it's just so hard when she became Keitaro's chosen one thanks to plot armor. Oh well, nothing a good hard shagging can't fix. But I will always support a harem for Keitaro. It is a harem anime, after all._


	10. Lemon Loop: Mutsumi and Naru

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _I started this in the first person view, from Keitaro's POV to be exact, and just went with it. Enjoy another lemon loop._

* * *

"Gahhh... Why is the sun so hot?"

I blinked as I came to. I sniffed the air-Salty. It was very warm. There was a gentle wave action beneath the raft.

Yep, I was in the liferaft again. On my way to Mutsumi's island with said lovely Okinawan and Naru. I glanced at my watch-Okay, a couple hours before that storm sprang up and sent us tumbling onto the shore of that island.

There was something I've always wanted to do...

"You're right," I replied to Naru's groan. I took off my jacket, which neither girl responded to, before I pulled this uncomfortable shirt up and off. I really hated how I used to dress-Geek prep. It basically screamed loser.

"Eh? Keitaro, what are you doing?" Naru, of course.

"Stripping," I said matter-of-factly, as I undid my pants. Her fatigue evaporated in the view of this "perversion".

"Y-You can't do that!" Naru insisted.

"I am," I replied calmly, slipping both my pants and boxers off. I was pleased at the blush on Mutsumi AND Naru's face. Good, I'd kept in shape in this loop too. I folded my clothes up and stuffed them into my backpack.

"You pervert!" She hissed, pulling her fist back for a punch.

"You want to tip over the raft hitting me?" I asked. Naru's arm froze.

"Yes Naru-chan, why don't you just relax?" Mutsumi asked cheerfully. She too began to undo her clothing, slipping her dress off first. I hummed in appreciation-Mutsumi in just her blouse and panties was a very sexy sight. The only thing better was Mutsumi minus said shirt, which she unbuttoned and slid off slowly, her shoulders being revealed before her large, perfectly breasts were revealed, snug in her white bra. She noticed my look, and smiled back more widely.

"St-Stop ogling her you pervert!" Naru shouted. "It's just because it's hot!"

"Yes, it is," I replied with a smile. Mutsumi's eyes had a not-so-innocent glint in them as she reached up behind her back to undo her bra. It snapped audibly in the hot, moist air, and she slid it off, letting out a soft sigh as the material released her breasts. I hummed again, eyes unashamedly taking in the sight. I would never get tired of it-Never.

"Uwah... Very hot, Naru-chan," Mutsumi concurred in a soft, sensual tone, setting her bra aside. She leaned back, lifting her legs up as she took hold of her panties. The soft material sliding up her firm, round ass, over her long, beautiful legs was breathtaking-I didn't bother to conceal my hardon.

"Haa... That feels better," Mutsumi sighed happily, carelessly dropping her panties overboard. "Ara... Oh well," she said, shrugging. Naru blushed furiously as we both looked at her.

"I-I'm not stripping down!"

"Do as you like," I said, crawling over to Mutsumi. "So will we." Mutsumi's smile grew a bit coy as she reached for her hat. I lifted my hands and took hold of hers, tapping a few pressure points in her wrists. She sighed softly, and looked me in the eyes with a warm, loving look.

"Leave that," I said with a smile, before I kissed her.

"Mmmm~..." Mutsumi didn't act surprised in the slightest, and slipped me the tongue first. I never knew if it was because she was Awake or if she was simply so easy going that she'd be fine with having sex with me normally.

Wish I'd known that the first time around...

"Wh-What the hell are you doing?" Naru screeched. I mentally sighed, and broke the kiss, but Mutsumi answered for me.

"Ara... We're going to be having sex, Naru-chan," she said calmly, as though speaking about the weather. "You're free to join us if you'd like."

"J-J-Join?" Naru squeaked. I shrugged.

"If you'd like..."

"H-Have you done this before? Have you been doing this the whole trip?" She demanded angrily. I looked over at Naru with a sigh.

"No... But we're lost at sea, we might die, and I'm in a raft with two beautiful women of consenting age."

"So just sex? That's all? You bastard, you son of a-MMPH!"

Mutsumi had crossed the distance between herself and Naru surprisingly quickly, and shut her up with a deep kiss. I smiled as she did it, recognizing that her hands were going around and hitting a few pressure points for relaxation. I never did figure out when she learned that stuff, but damn, was it good. Not as good as the Urashima clan's techniques but still very, very nice.

"Mmmmnghhh... Naru-chan, you should just relax," Mutsumi whispered, her hands now fondling Naru through her sweater. The younger woman moaned softly, looking dazed. "Don't worry... You'll have your turn. Just wait."

"T-Turn...?" Naru whispered in a daze. Mutsumi licked her lips and looked back at me. I smiled and nodded.

"It's only fair," I said. Mutsumi crawled back to me, and I pulled her into another deep kiss. "Mmmm~..."

"Mmngh..." She moaned happily into my mouth as my hands went to her breasts, fondling them happily. Whoever said that bigger breasts were less sensitive has never met Mutsumi. I squeezed and caressed them, playing them expertly in order to get various arousing sounds out of her. Short gasps when I pinched her nipples, low moans when I scrubbed them, happy sighs as I suckled on them.

She gave a low, womanly moan as I suckled both her nipples at the same time, and I knew I'd caused a her a small orgasm. I looked up at her, and slowly pulled my lips from her tits, giving them a parting lick.

"Mmm... Kei-kun..." Mutsumi spread her legs and leaned back, revealing her sex. Her lower lips were slightly parted, and glistened in the hot sun. She had a small patch of hair on her mound, probably a bit bigger than usual since she hadn't shaved, but I didn't care. I bowed my head, stuck my thumbs in between her lips and began licking.

"Aahhh...! Oh-Ohhh... Kei-kun, Kei-kun," Mutsumi moaned happily as I ate her out. She didn't taste like watermelons, mind you, but deeper, almost spicier-It made me incredibly hard either way, and I lapped happily at her.

"Oh... Oh my," Naru mumbled off to the side. I didn't care what she said-She'd have her turn later. I slipped my thumbs into Mutsumi's vaginal entrance, spreading her wide open. She gasped as I pulled back, long enough for the cooler air to increase her sensitivity before I dove back in, my tongue plunging in as deep as it could go.

"Oooohh~..." Mutsumi wiggled her bottom and moaned again as I wiggled my tongue in response. Moving my head back and forth, I fucked her with my tongue, my hands and fingers rubbing and caressing her mound on the outside as I pleasured her. Her breathing got deeper, and I glanced up-Her face and breasts were flushed, and she smiled warmly at me.

"Oohh... Ohhh... K-Kei-kun... That feels good... G-Good..." She whispered to me, before closing her eyes and moaning again. Her tunnel tightened around my tongue, and I felt her juices splash onto my face. I had to take my glasses off and wipe them off so I could see again, she squirted so much.

"Hwaahhh..." Mutsumi smiled at me, and licked her lips. She reached down, replacing my hands and spreading herself widely, invitingly. It would have been rude to refuse the invitation, heheh, so I slid up on top of her and kissed her. Below, I pushed my hips forward, hitting her entrance.

"Mmmm... Hnnn..." Mutsumi gasped through her nose as I entered her, and I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist. Still holding the kiss, I pushed inside her, remembering to apply a bit of ki around my cock to ease the breaking of her hymen. Instead of a groan of pain as I took her virginity, she moaned in bliss as I opened her up.

"Uwaahmmm... Mmmm... Mmm..." She moaned into my mouth as I began to thrust into her. I made sure to hit her clit on the next penetration, which caused her arms to tighten around me. I kept up a nice, steady pace, groaning back through our joined lips at her warmth and tightness.

"Hnngh... Hnngh... Hnnn... O-Ooohhhh..." Mutsumi's moan was released as I broke our kiss, and I bowed my head to nibble on her neck. "Kei-kun... Kei-kun... Kei-kun... Haaauuu..."

"Uhhh... I-I'm gonna cum inside you," I groaned, making my thrusts a little harder. Mutsumi gasped, and her eyes became half-lidded.

"Ohhh... K-Kei-kun... What if I become pregnant, araaaa...?"

Now, I couldn't reproduce due to Peorth's interference in the Loops, but... Well... I couldn't exactly tell her that.

"Then I'll marry you," I groaned softly. "Naru too..."

Mutsumi's smile brightened intensely, and she rolled her hips, taking me in deeper.

"Oohhhh..." She squeezed around me, and bit her lower lip while giving me the sexiest look I'd ever seen from her.

"Cum in me, cum in me," she moaned softly. "Ohhh... Ohhh... Ohhhh...!" She let out a very deep moan as I hit her cervix, and she contracted around me several times. I kept fucking her, despite her tightness things got easier with how wet she was from her orgasm.

Her beautiful eyes dilated and she trembled as she let out another moan, and still I didn't stop. Two ki-charged fingers hit the small of her back, and she shuddered as she came again, softly crying my name.

"K-Keitaroooohhh...!"

"M-Mutsumi," I groaned, as I lost control myself and shot off inside her. Once, twice, three, four, five, finally six times, flooding her womb with my semen. She panted loudly for breath and her eyes shut tightly, very cutely, as she had another little death from the sensation.

I thrust a few more times, making sure my semen was packed deep inside her, before I pulled out. She moaned quietly as our mixed juices poured from her gaping snatch, and she reached down to collect some of it. She stuck her fingers into her mouth and suckled, her eyes dark as she took deep breaths through her nose.

"Hhh... Hhh... Hhh..."

"Ahhh... Ahhhh...!" We both looked over to Naru, whose hands were busy furiously fingering her pussy and squeezing her breasts. She trembled and groaned as she had her own orgasm, eyes shut. She opened them, breathing a bit harder as she took in the scene. I smirked at her.

"Your turn," I said, before pouncing. She resisted a little, but Mutsumi eagerly helped in calming her down. As in several other loops, in almost no time at all Naru was wailing into Mutsumi's drooling pussy while I plowed her from behind. Then Mutsumi got to ride my dick while Naru sat on my face. Then I fucked the both of them while Naru laid on top of Mutsumi, the two women clutching at eachother and wailing into orgasm after orgasm.

The storm came up, and I had enough foresight to put up the roof before it got too bad. That was something we hadn't done first time around-Mainly because Mutsumi didn't remember her raft had a tarp. We cuddled under a survival blanket while we waited it out, and it didn't take too long before we hit shore.

"Oh good... We made it," Mutsumi said happily, poking her head out of the raft. "We just have to get to the other side now..."

"Ugh... The other side...?" Naru groaned. "Well, we'd better-Mmph?"

"Mmm..." I kissed her deeply, my tongue dominating her own, before I broke it. "I think it's safer to just wait here. I have a feeling we'll be found soon enough."

"But... But..." Naru tried. Mutsumi clapped her hands and beamed.

"Oh, that's wonderful Kei-kun! I would like to try this one position I read about on my way to Toudai..."

"Really? Tell me more?" I said. Naru blinked.

"Wait... You want us to just stay here, live off our meager rations, and spend the time we wait for a very unlikely rescue having _more_ sex?"

Mutsumi and I both nodded with identical smiles. Naru looked back and forth between us, and shook her head with a tired sigh.

"You two go ahead... I'm getting some sleep..."

"Suit yourself," I said, before pouncing on Mutsumi. "Now, what position was this...?"

Mutsumi giggled, as Naru groaned and pulled the blanket over her head.

She ended up joining us again, of course. But she just didn't have our stamina, so it was easy to forgive her for opting to just suck me off gently in lieu of screwing. Mutsumi happily helped.

Needless to say, the rest of my tenants and the boat captain found a very, _very_ happy trio of people when they rescued us...

* * *

_I think I'll stick with the standard third person POV from now on._


	11. Shinobu Growth Spurt

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _Admittedly, this concept has been seen before but I decided to just go ahead and post it up._

_

* * *

_"Suu is not sure about this, Shinobu," the little blonde Mol Mol girl said with a frown. Shinobu nodded, the very picture of shy, innocent desire... While inside she was getting very, very impatient.

"Auuu... But Suu, it'll help both Sempai and myself! Don't you want to help us?" Shinobu asked. "He keeps getting abused by everyone... He needs stress relief, but I can't do it as I am..." She held her hands together and looked her most woobified.

"Please Suu? Please?"

Suu thought about it for a few moments, before nodding. "All right... Suu will do this!" She beamed and winked. "But only if Shinobu-chan will share with Suu!"

Shinobu let her control slip, a very seductive look appearing in her eyes. "Oh, don't worry Suu-chan..." She cupped Suu's cheeks, and gave the surprised-looking girl a tonsil-cleaning kiss. "Mmmmm~..."

"Mmmngh...!" Suu moaned back, happily returning the kiss. A full minute later, Shinobu separated their lips, leaving a thin string of spittle between them as they panted for breath.

"Haa... Haa... Haa..." Suu licked her lips and smiled. "Where Shinobu learn to kiss like that...?"

"You did," Shinobu said dryly.

"Suu good teacher..."

"Yes, Suu is..." The dazed girl agreed.

Shinobu stepped over in front of the device, and stripped off her clothing. Now naked, she closed her eyes and spread her arms.

"Ready?" Suu asked. Shinobu nodded.

"Y-Yeah... Do it!"

Shinobu was hit by a beam of pure red moon light magic, and she immediately felt herself... Get bigger. When she opened her eyes, Suu was openly drooling. She blushed, and looked at the mirror Suu had thoughtfully provided.

She blushed deep red. _God... I'm hot...!_

Long blue hair, long toned legs, full hips and breasts that rivaled Kitsune's in size and firmness...

"Oh... Suu, this is the best thing you've ever done for me!" Shinobu squealed. "I swear, I will make you cum _so_ hard when we do Keitaro-sempai together!"

"Woohoo!" Suu cheered. Shinobu smiled, and licked her lips.

"Auuu... But I get him first..."

* * *

_Cue sexy-time._


	12. Empress Shinobu

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits Again!_

_By Andrew Joshua Talon_

DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Love Hina_, and I am not writing this for profit. Please do not sure.

Author's Note: _Why is making the cute, innocent Shinobu evil so much fun? I don't know, but I'm going to do it again.  
_

_A totally cracktastic idea that The Ero-Sennin and I thought worthy of sharing with you guys. The premise is simple: Due to the lack of control Shinobu has in her life, she has decided her eventual goal will be to conquer the world and rule it as it's Empress. Perhaps a bit extreme reaction to her parents' divorce but given the crazy world of Love Hina, not out of the question. However, when she meets Keitaro, she decides he will be her consort, and modifies her plans accordingly._

_Shinobu easily enlists Su's help when she gets to the Hinata Sou-The promise of her banana cream pies and sharing Keitaro is totally fine with Su. She's a girl of uncomplicated tastes. And so, Shinobu sets out on her plan to conquer the world-Starting from the bottom up._

* * *

"Su! How is that One Ring of Power coming along?" Shinobu asked as she strode into Su's room. The Mol Mol princess looked back at her friend/future empress and lover with a frown.

"Ran into hitch."

"What hitch?" Shinobu asked.

Su's eyes narrowed.

"Damn Hobbits."

"Ooooh! Damn those, those cute, huggable little Hobbits!" Shinobu hissed. "THEY SHALL FEEL MY WRATH!"

"But, Su have something Shinobu might like!" Su said, to assuage her future empress and keep her wrath in check. Strange things happened to meals when Shinobu was angry.

"Ooh? What?" Shinobu asked eagerly, anger forgotten.

Su held up a gauntlet.

"Zero Point Energy Generator!"

"Oooh! Thank you Su!" Shinobu said, as she pulled it on. "With this Zero Point Energy Generator, I can control all matter AT MY WHIM! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Shinobu paused.

"... How do you turn it on?"

It was never said she would be GOOD at taking over the world.

"Press button on wrist," Su said.

"Oh! Oh, right," Shinobu said, pressing the button. She lifted a tree up and flew it around.

"Isn't it amazing?" Su asked.

"Yes! This is really great Su! With this, I could CRUSH MOUNTAINS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Eep! Oh no, I forgot! It's lunchtime! Auuu!" Shinobu ran off, fretting severely. Su watched her go with a smile.

"Shinobu will be great empress."

* * *

Shinobu finished cooking lunch and set it out very quickly onto the table with her gauntlet. She beamed cheerfully.

"Lunchtime!" She announced to the gathered residents. She noticed she was still wearing the gauntlet, and quickly hit it behind her back. "Er…"

"Wow, Shinobu-chan... It's absolutely gorgeous," Naru said with a smile.

"Thank you," Shinobu demurred, before looking at Keitaro with a blush. "I-I hope you like it too, Sempai."

"It's amazing, Shinobu-chan!" He said with a smile. Shinobu swooned at the praise.

Kitsune giggled. "Careful, Kei, you might make your wife faint."

"W-wife!" Keitaro stuttered.

Naru rolled her eyes and giggled. Shinobu blushed heavily in response, and turned away. In true supervillain fashion, however, it was to allow her to smile evilly.

"Yes, wife... And he will be my husband... My consort, mwahahahahahaha!" She cackled under her breath.

"Shinobu?" Motoko asked. Shinobu started, and turned back around to see everyone staring at her. She coughed.

"Ah? Yes?"

"Are you okay?" Kitsune asked, concerned. Shinobu nodded rapidly.

"F-Fine! Let's eat!"

After lunch, Shinobu decides to start on her first obstacle to Keitaro-Er, the world. Yes, the world. Well, technically her third obstacle to Keitaro-The world! Yes. Motoko could be a formidable foe, but an even more powerful ally. She had to make sure which Motoko would be. So, after lunch Shinobu approached Motoko as she trained outside.

"Motoko, I'd like to ask you a question," Shinobu said.

"Yes?" Motoko asked, swinging her blade in tight, precise arcs.

"Let us say, for the sake of argument, that I wanted to rule the world. Would you serve me or would you resist me?" Shinobu asked. Motoko froze, and turned to stare at Shinobu. She found the idea of someone as adorable and harmless as Shinobu ruling the world both adorable and harmless.

"Ah..." Her cheeks warmed at the moeness of it all. Shinobu's eyes narrowed seriously, which just made her look cuter.

"Because if you serve me, the rewards would be great! But if you resisted me, I'm afraid I would have to do... Terrible, horrible things to you," she said.

Motoko blinked. She placed her palm on Shinobu's forehead, and her other on her own.

"You do not feel warm."

"Eh?" Shinobu cried with a scowl. "I-I'm serious! I-I could make you regret being born and make you pray to your impotent gods for mercy that would never come! I really could!"

Motoko managed a small smile. She looked so cute. "Ah, so you would try to rule the world?"

"No, I _will_ rule the world," Shinobu sniffed.

"I don't think you'd have the heart to do all of that," Motoko said. "But… I do think if someone could rule the world, it would be you."

Shinobu blushed. "Thank you..." Her eyes narrowed. "... That still doesn't answer my question."

Motoko closed her eyes, and decided to play along. "I would not resist, I would gladly serve at your side."

"Oh! That's good!" Shinobu said happily with a warm smile. "I would hate very much to have to destroy you."

"However, I only serve a Just Empress," Motoko stated.

"Awww... But being a Just Empress is no fun!" Shinobu said with a pout.

"Nonsense, being an evil empress is likely to get you defeated by the forces of Good," Motoko said.

"Well... I suppose I wouldn't want to corrupt K-Keitaro-sempai into someone I would hate... That would defeat the purpose of making him my consort," Shinobu mused.

"Exactly...wait-what?" Motoko asked.

"Oh yes, I'm making Keitaro-sempai my consort," Shinobu said with a wave of her hand. "If you wish you can be part of his harem." Her gaze grew dangerous, and yet still adorable. "Just as long as you acknowledge he is MINE."

"Ahh...right! Of course?" Motoko said. This was a game still, right?

Shinobu gave her a bright smile. "Then we will have no problems! Excellent! I need to speak with the others, excuse me." She walked off, assured that a potential rival/enemy was out of the way... For now. A prudent Empress trusted, but verified.

Motoko, meanwhile, was left wondering just what Shinobu had put in her lunch…

* * *

With one threat resolved for the moment, Shinobu decided to work on the second biggest threat to her plans. Save Mutsumi, but she had plans for her. Said current threat was currently lounging on the couch, a magazine in her hands.

"Kitsune? I must ask you something," Shinobu said. Kitsune looked at Shinobu with a smile.

"What is it?"

Shinobu's eyes narrowed, as she tried to look menacing. "If I were to conquer the world, would you resist me?"

"Only if I do not get what I desire," Kitsune said, not skipping a beat. Shinobu crossed her arms over her chest.

"And what do you desire?"

"Wealth and glory, of course," Kitsune replied.

"Hmph. How much wealth and glory are we talking?" Shinobu countered.

"I want all of South America."

"South America? Hmph! How impudent," Shinobu huffed. "A whole continent for yourself?"

"Yes," Kitsune said.

"What would you do with all of South America?"

"...Adventure tourism!" Kitsune answered after a moment.

"You could do that just as easily with Korea." Shinobu said.

"Korea! But Korea's boring!" Kitsune haggled.

"That's your problem, not mine. Besides, if I give you the vast resources of South America you could make war upon me, and I will not have that!" Shinobu countered.

"Oh pshaw. Why would I wage war with you? Besides, the world is a big place, you can't rule it yourself."

"I can delegate!" Shinobu insisted.

"And I volunteer my services," Kitsune said smoothly with a smile. Shinobu considered this.

"Hmmm... All right. But remember, if you betray me, my wrath will be dire!" Shinobu hissed.

"...I'll try my best to be good," Kitsune returned with a smile.

"Excellent. And if you're extra good, I'll let you into Keitaro-Sempai's harem," Shinobu said. She covered her cheeks and blushed heavily. "H-He is too much for any one woman, after all!"

"Oh, will he be your consort?" Kitsune asked with a catty smile.

"Oh, well, um... Y-Yes..." Shinobu said. As Kitsune continued to smirk, Shinobu scowled. The effect was rather ruined by her swoon though. "Y-You are part of HIS harem, maybe, but he's MINE, understand?"

"Of course, Shinobu-chan...ah...Shinobu-sama~" Kitsune replied with a laugh.

"Good... Now, the hardest challenge... Naru-sempai!" Shinobu said. Her fists clenched in determination as her eyes narrowed.

"Good luck," Kitsune offered with shifty eyes. "I heard last she was studying with Keitaro."

"Wh-What?" Shinobu fretted.

"...Alone...In his room~," Kitsune said, sounding slightly like the DBZ Abridged Mr. Popo.

"Noooo!" Shinobu cried as she ran off. Kitsune chuckled and leaned back on the couch, resuming her reading.

"Ah, she's too cute."

* * *

"SU! Su, how-how do I get Naru-sempai away from Keitaro-sempai?" Shinobu wailed as she ran into Su's lab. The Mol Mol girl didn't have to think twice.

"The usual way," she said. Shinobu blinked.

"Eh?"

"Behold," Su said, as she turned to her computer. She brought up a camera in Keitaro's room, where Naru and Keitaro were studying. A Mecha Tama popped up and immediately flew past Naru, tearing off her top and bra with it. Keitaro's reaction was excepted.

"W-What?"

Naru's reaction was also expected.

"Don't look!" Naru growled, and with a punch she sent Keitaro flying.

"Separated," Su said with a smile. Shinobu hugged her.

"Oh, thank you Su! Now I may speak with Naru-sempai in private while she's still emotionally unstable!"

"Good job. Wait. What?"

But Su found her question directed only to empty air, as Shinobu had taken off for Keitaro's room. Upon entering it, she saw Naru grumbling as she pulled her clothes back on.

"Oh, Naru-sempai, what happened?" Shinobu asked with an innocent expression

"One of Su's inventions went berserk...crap, I think I launched him pretty far this time," Naru muttered.

"Oh yeah, he hasn't hit the ground yet," Su said in her lab as she watched the radar track of Keitaro's flight. "Someone in China's about to have a very bad day."

Back in Keitaro's room, Shinobu looked thoughtful.

"Hmmm... You know, I could make sure Keitaro-sempai never saw you in such a state again... Unless you so wished it," she said with a smile.

"What are you getting at?" Naru asked with a frown.

"Well…" Shinobu blushed slightly. "I intend to conquer the world and have him as my consort!"

Naru blinked a few times before she responded.

"...That's adorable. But why Keitaro...?" Like the others, she thought it was a game. Shinobu beamed.

"Because I love him and his kindness would temper my urges to crush and destroy all I oppose," Shinobu replied cheerfully. "Also, he has great…" Her blush deepened. "Endurance~…"

Naru recoiled. "What?"

"Well, he is kind and good-hearted, oooh..." Her hands went to her cheeks as she swooned. "And... And... Auu! You don't want to hear this; you have no interest in him!" She shook her head. "Suffice it to say, if you support my bid for world conquest he will not peep on you or grope you, no... I will be a good wife and keep him from straying... Yes..." She blushed again.

"...Uh...no." Naru said. Shinobu stared.

"... Then you will resist me?"

"Um...well, kinda. I mean, I like Keitaro, and even though I kind of lose it sometimes...I still like him," Naru admitted. Shinobu blinked. This wasn't part of her scenario! Naru was supposed to angrily deny any attraction to Keitaro and agree to her proposal, shooting herself in the foot! Drat!

Well, like any competent strategist, she had a backup plan.

"Oh! That's all right then. I have a solution for that..." She said, ominously.

"Oh? And what would that be?" Naru asked.

"I will just have to destroy you," Shinobu said. She tried to look threatening, but all she managed was to look more moe. "And then Keitaro will be mine! Mwahahahahahaha!"

"...You know, you need to work on your threats," Naru said with a smile. "You're just too cute."

She pulled Shinobu into a cuddle, which the younger girl tried to get out of.

"H-Hey! Let me go! I-I can totally destroy you! Your life will be an unending torment! You will perish in flames!" Shinobu cried. Naru just laughed and turned her around, holding her in her lap. Shinobu pouted.

"This is why I'll have to be a horrible, unrelenting terror to my subjects," she huffed.

"Maybe you could win them over by being unbearably cute?" Naru suggested.

"Do you really think I could?" Shinobu asked, interested. Naru smiled.

"Yes."

"Okay! I'll have Keitaro as my consort then! And you'll be part of his harem!" Shinobu said cheerfully. Never let it be said she was an ungrateful ruler.

Naru closed her eyes and chuckled. "I'm afraid, Shinobu-chan, that I cannot abide."

"What?" Shinobu asked, startled.

"I'll have to resist you," Naru said. "If you're going to make a claim on Keitaro...I cannot accept your rule."

Shinobu's eyes narrowed.

"Very well... May the best woman win, then," Shinobu hissed. Naru smirked back.

"I most certainly will."

"Nngh! Mmph!" Shinobu tried to get out of Naru's embrace, but she was held fast. Shinobu grumbled, and then glanced out the window.

"Oh look, Keitaro-sempai lost his shirt on the way back," Shinobu said innocently.

"I'm not falling for that," Naru said in a sing-song voice.

"Drat!" Shinobu cursed. Oh, she was good.

"So cute," Naru giggled. She was going to be fun to foil.

* * *

_The problem with being creative is having too many damn ideas. Oh well. If you'd like to use any of these ideas, just ask and it's yours._


	13. The Ronin of Steel

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits_

_By Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer:_ No I don't own Love Hina, and no I'm not writing this for money.

* * *

The vast arctic wasteland was whipped and smoothed by the harsh winds, ice and snow ground into fine powder and hard ice above the sea. The sun shone brightly above, but could not shake the icy grip winter held at the top of the world. The cold was king, and no amount of sunlight could change that.

Into this desolation, a young man walked. His light brown hair waved in the strong winds howling over the ice, but the rest of him continued forward, heedless of the elemental wrath directed at him. He wore a simple red sweater and blue jeans, equally simple, hopelessly inadequate for stopping the cold and the wind, but he pressed on as though it did not effect him. Aside from a weather worn backpack, one strap free of his shoulder, he carried nothing else.

"Guh," he muttered, stumbling a bit. He shook his head, and gazed out upon the plains. His brown eyes narrowed, and he pulled his backpack off, setting it on the ice before him. Scrounging around inside, he procured a single large object-A perfectly formed crystal, cut into the shape of a cylinder. It glowed a soft blue in response, and he looked down at it, considering...

He nodded, and knelt down, raising the hand with the crystal in it high over his head. He then slammed it into the ice, sending it straight through into the water below. He stood back up and, backpack in one hand, retreated.

"Hope I followed the instructions right," he mumbled to himself. He turned back at a distant rumble, keen ears informing him of happenings far below.

A bright light glowed from under the icepack, before cracks and fissures opened. The young man watched, eyes slowly growing wider, as the rumbling increased. He had to fight to keep his footing as the source of the rumbles slowly breeched the surface, pushing up through the ice.

Great crystals reached for the sky, perfectly clear and flawless just like the first, yet hundreds of times bigger. Bigger, bigger they grew, expanding through the frozen wasteland and shimmering, shaping themselves, changing.

The young man's jaw dropped as the seemingly disparate pieces of this massive puzzle slid and locked together with loud clicks and booms, soon standing a dozen meters above his head. He gulped, and slowly slid his backpack back on, both straps this time.

"Here goes nothing," Keitaro Urashima decided, and slowly entered the great construct.

- - - - - - -

Within the structure, he could feel a change in temperature. While his body could withstand cold and heat greater than anyone else he'd known or heard about, it did not mean his skin was dead to sensation. In fact, in certain ways Keitaro could feel _more_ than the people around him, and not just through touch.

And right now he felt a kind of... Anticipation in the walls of the structure. A kind of welcome home permeating his senses.

Keitaro came up to a tall pillar, not quite central to the structure but the architecture surrounding it placed it in great prominence. With a leap far higher than any normal human was capable of making, he got up on top, standing in the center. His eyes widened at what appeared to be some sort of control panel on a pedestal before him, a complex crystal pattern engraved on it's flat surface. As though commanded, he reached out and touched it.

"Woah!" Keitaro cried out, jerking his hand back as the crystals came to life, glowing bright blue and moving over the surface, rearranging themselves like a puzzle. The pieces came together in a symbol-An English-like "S" held within an asymmetrical diamond. The symbol glowed, winking with light three times, before the crystal walls of the great structure vanished. The young man gasped and looked around the new, even more alien surroundings.

"What... What's going on?" Keitaro asked. He was suddenly in a smaller room, built of curved crystal-But, rather than being simple clear, white prisms, they came in a multitude of warm colors-Deep scarlet, forest green, onyx black-all arranged to give the room a feeling of openness, yet also a strange kind of coziness.

He looked out large, expansive windows, onto a vast plain of yellow grass and green shrubbery, almost Earth-like. But the large crystal structures dotting the plains, and the deep red sky above indicated that wherever he was, it was not his humble home.

"So, my son," came a deep, male voice behind him that made the boy jump. He turned and gaped at the two figures before him. One was a tall man, resembling an older, more distinguished version of himself in a long black and red robe, the "S"-like shield a small symbol on his chest. The other was a warmly smiling woman with long auburn hair, dressed like him, with his eyes.

"You have come here with questions," the man continued. The young man nodded, and licked his lips.

"Who..." Keitaro took a deep breath, and continued in a less shaky voice. "Who are you?"

"I am Jor-El, of the planet Krypton," the man spoke.

"And I am Lara-El," the woman said.

"We are your parents," Jor-El concluded. The young man nodded.

"And... And I am?"

"Your name is Kal-El. You are the only survivor of the planet Krypton. Even though you've been raised as a human, you are not one of them. You have great powers, only some of which you have as yet discovered," Jor-El spoke, in a firm, commanding voice, yet Keitaro could feel genuine warmth from the stern-looking man. Lara's smile grew.

"While you are the last of your kind, Kal-El, you are not alone. We included this crystal, these tools for you when you came of age. Our gifts to you, to guide you as you grew up."

"Then... You're not real?" Keitaro asked. Jor-El sighed, genuine regret in his eyes.

"No. We are artificial intelligences, based upon their minds, encoded into the crystal. We are but shadows of your parents, just as this crystal is but a time capsule of Krypton."

"... What happened? Why did you send me to Earth?" Keitaro asked.

"Krypton was destroyed by an internal chain reaction I predicted," Jor-El explained. "Over the millenia we used the core's uranium as a power source, the planet became unstable, violent. I tried to warn the ruling council but... They did not listen."

"We thus used a small spaceship to send you to Earth, a safe world, whose bright yellow sun gave you great powers," Jor-El concluded. Lara shook her head, sadness on her features.

"For my part... My only hope was that you were found by good people, Kal-El, and were loved. Did you grow up with love, my son?"

"... I did," Keitaro replied with a smile.

Lara's hologram smiled back, satisfied that the dead woman whose place she held would be satisfied, before Jor-El stepped forward. He looked at Keitaro with a serious expression. Yet Keitaro knew his father's love for him was no less than his mother's.

"So... Now that I know about who I am, where I came from," Keitaro spoke. "What do I do now?"

Jor-El looked Keitaro right in the eyes, and he could sense the pride, the hope the man must have felt for him before he launched Keitaro into space.

"Live as one of them, Kal-El, to discover where your strength and your power are needed. Always hold in your heart the pride of your special heritage. Humanity can be a great people, Kal-El, if they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you... my only son."

"Show them the same love we have shown you, that you have been shown," Lara added, coming up and looping her arm through Jor-El's affectionately. "Your birthright is the best of Krypton, the knowledge of ages, the history of our great people. The triumphs, the mistakes, the victories and the defeats..." She nodded her head. "Learn from this, Kal-El. Learn, and show your new world the way to the future... The way to avoid our end."

"I promise," Keitaro Urashima, Kal-El of Krypton, said in a firm voice. "I promise..."

* * *

_Yeah, thinking about revamping my old Keitaro-Is-Superman idea. Taking more from the movies, the DCAU, and a few other sources. Granted, I have a lot on my plate, but I like to think that the Anime'd DC verse I started is a single "story", a single story I can revise, rewrite, and make into something great. And naturally, I started with my favorite: Superman._

_Thoughts, comments, ideas, all are welcome._


	14. Super Keitaro Loop

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits_

_By Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer:_ No I don't own Love Hina, and no I'm not writing this for money.

* * *

As far as loops went, the DC fusion verses weren't too bad. Keitaro got to be Superman, which was really awesome, and he got to save the world and sometimes the universe. All of those were awesome too.

Yep, he couldn't think of a single thing wrong with these loops, as he soared high over Tokyo, a smile on his face-

"ARRRGGGGHHHH!"

And a Kryptonite deathray blast forcing it off. Keitaro fell fast, tumbling head over heels until he hit something solid. Everything went black.

When he awoke, he grimaced as he felt red sunlight shining on his face. _Crap... Been captured..._ He struggled against his bonds. _Long enough for my strength to be depleted... Yeah, this is not good... Well, at least I'm on something comfy... Wait._

He opened his eyes and quickly surveyed his surroundings. Red sunlight generators overhead, check. Wide four poster bed he was chained to-Check.

... Naru with white hair and wearing something skimpy. Double check.

"Naru," Keitaro growled. Naru smirked.

"I'm terribly sorry, Superman, but I didn't think I was going to get your attention any other way... Well, aside from more giant robots but I think we've both had enough of that, don't you think?" She slinked over to him and straddled his hips. Superman gulped.

"Uh... Look, Naru, I think this goes way beyond our uh, hero/villain relationship," Keitaro said quickly. Naru smirked and traced the "S" insignia on his chest with her finger.

"Really? I feel it's a natural evolution," Naru said. "I'm going to win in a way much more sticking than death. And you'll never treat things between us the same way again." She smirked as her hands slid to his pants. "Now then, let's start off with-"

_KABOOM!_ The wall exploded. Naru and Keitaro looked to see a woman in a Bat-costume appear, flanked by her young, blue-haired girl sidekick in red and yellow spandex. Judging from the woman's build, Keitaro would have to say Batwoman was Motoko in this universe. And it wasn't hard to determine Shinobu's role here.

"Got yourself in trouble again, huh Superman?" Batwoman asked.

"Ah, well, um, it happens right?" Keitaro offered with a weak smile.

Robin posed bravely.

"Don't worry, Sempai! Er, Superman! We're here to save you!" Her eyes widened behind her mask. "No! What-What's going on? How could you, Sem-Superman?"

"It wasn't MY idea!" Keitaro defended himself.

"How did you get past my defenses?" Naru demanded.

"You're getting sloppy Narusegawa," Batwoman snorted. "I'm taking _my_ Superman away from you."

"Over my dead body you leather loving bitch! DIE!" Naru roared, charging and tackling Batwoman. A catfight ensued, as Robin was pulled in. Presently, Kitsune entered, dressed in a smart jacket and skirt. She smirked a bit.

"Ah, Kitsune, little help please?" Keitaro asked desperately.

"Well, I suppose I could, given how many times you've rescued me," Kitsune said. She leaned over and breathed in his ear, making him shudder.

"K-Kitsune?"

"But only if you give me something in return~," Kitsune whispered.

"Um... An interview?" Keitaro offered. Kitsune unbuttoned her blouse. Keitaro sighed.

"Damnit..."

"You hussy!" Shouted a blonde Kanako, as Supergirl. She flew it and lifted Kitsune up off the floor with one hand. "What do you think you're doing to my Onii-chan?"

"What you'll never get to do in a million years, Supergirl," Kitsune smirked. "He's not into incest... Although, if he was, I might make some... Accomodations," she said, cupping Kanako's cheek. She blushed deeply and dropped Kitsune, flying backwards.

"Aw, are all Kryptonians prudes?" Kitsune pouted. Keitaro was trying to form words at the moment but nothing came. It was just as well, he would have been interrupted by the wall nearby being smashed in.

"Super-kun! I'm here to take you back to my planet as my consort~!" Queen Mutsumi of Almerec called, holding up her sword with a wide smile. The third wall of the room was knocked down, as Shampoo in Wonder Woman's outfit stormed in.

"Super-Airen not be taken by other hussies!" She declared. "Super-Airen MINE!"

As total chaos and destruction erupted around him, Keitaro sighed heavily as he looked up at the ceiling.

Sometimes the DC fusions were fun... Other times, not so much.

* * *

_Another time loop, slightly inspired by _Ronin of Steel._ Reviews would be appreciated.__  
_


	15. Super Keitaro Loop 2

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits_

_By Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer:_ No I don't own Love Hina, and no I'm not writing this for money.

* * *

Keitaro couldn't really breath out in space, but felt like letting out a sigh of relief as he looked out across the vast gulf between Earth and the Moon. He silently laughed to himself, leaning against the remains of Apollo 11's lunar module.

_Finally... I'm safe from her,_ he thought to himself. _Now I can relax for a bit, look around... Man, it's incredible humans got out here without any super powers and-_

His thought process was interrupted when a purple-haired missile tackled him, sending him flying into a nearby hill and flattening it.

_Oh crap,_ Keitaro thought. He looked down and sighed uselessly in the vacuum-Shampoo was cuddling him happily. He applied his strength and managed to pull Shampoo off him.

"How did you get out here?" Keitaro demanded, knowing she could read his lips. Shampoo gave him a wry look, and pointed at her chest. More specifically, the double-W on her chest.

_Oh. Right. Stupid question,_ Keitaro thought, as Shampoo hugged him again. She looked up at him with a grin.

"Make babies with Shampoo on the moon?" She asked.

Keitaro gulped, and held his hand up to his ear.

"Sorry, I hear trouble! Got to go!" He took off as fast as he could, streaking back for the Earth. He looked back over his shoulder and mentally groaned-Shampoo was flying after him, amorous look on her face.

_Naru's nuts, Shampoo won't let up-Maybe I would have been better off with Motoko-At least she wouldn't trap me in a red sunlight room and try to rape me._

In an underground command center created for the purposes of battling crime, Motoko sneezed and paused in her work on the ceiling.

"Are you all right, Motoko?" Shinobu asked. Motoko nodded.

"Just fine, Shinobu. Now help me finish installing the red sunlight emitters in the ceiling."

"Oh... This is for if Sempai is mind controlled and tries to break into the cave again, right?" Shinobu asked.

Motoko was silent for a moment. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

_Another time loop, slightly inspired by _Ronin of Steel._ I'm bereft of inspiration at the moment due to school, sorry, all writing projects are going to be slow at best for the forseeable future._


	16. Perfectly Calm Keitaro Loop: Kanako

_Totally Random Love Hina Skits_

_By Andrew J. Talon_

_Disclaimer:_ No I don't own Love Hina, and no I'm not writing this for money.

* * *

"Brother, I... I must admit, I-" Kanako began, but Keitaro held up a hand.

"I know what you're going to say, Kanako," he said. Kanako's cheeks flushed.

"You... You do?"

"Yes... And I'd just like to say..." He glanced over at the other girls, all gathered around, all watching. Ah, so apparently he'd looped to this point... Him talking to all the girls at once after returning from America.

Well, enough experience with Kanako made his next words clear.

"You're a crazy bitch, you know that right?"

Kanako's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "I... It... What?"

"Seriously Kanako, we're _brother and sister,_" Keitaro said flatly. "Maybe not biologically but you _are_ my sister emotionally. I don't fuck my sisters."

Well, a few loops he'd screwed Haruka out of curiosity, but emotionally it wasn't the same-Haruka may as well have been his neighbor as far as their connection went. Besides, they were technically cousins, and that wasn't illegal.

"But-But-But I love you!" Kanako insisted.

"And I love you, but not to the point I'd want to marry you and have babies," Keitaro said. "Plus... You basically drove all of the people I care about out of the Hinata Sou just to have me to yourself. That's not endearing, that's _creepy_."

"But they-they all abuse you! They mistreat you! They insult you!" Kanako growled, waving her hand at his tenants. Keitaro looked over at them, each in turn.

"Yes, you're right," Keitaro confirmed. "They've abused me due to their own issues, emotionally and physically..." He looked right at Naru, and she flinched.

"They've hurt me out of fear and insecurity," he continued, looking right at Motoko but he glanced back at on Naru. The swordswoman looked miserable. He looked over at Kitsune. "They've abused my trust, stolen from me."

Mitsune flinched at that. He looked over at Mutsumi, who looked serene.

"They've allowed the abuse to go on," he said, looking between Mutsumi and Shinobu. The former frowned, looking hurt. The latter looked like she might burst into tears, but was trying as hard as she could not to. His gaze settled on Su.

"Or they've abused me for childish reasons," Keitaro said. Su looked hurt. Keitaro's eyes turned back to Kanako, who looked quite smug. Almost triumphant.

"But the truth is I love them all," he said. "I'd rather die, than forsake any one of them... Any one of them, I'd be honored, and blessed, to be their husband."

Every person in the room looked completely, totally shocked. Keitaro's eyes narrowed at Kanako.

"But they never, _ever_ did anything _you_ did, Kanako-chan," he said in a strong, stern voice. "Not like you pulled. I love you very much, Kanako, but I'm _not_ going to be your husband and I'm not forsaking any of them. I'm your brother... Please, understand that."

Kanako stared, twitching all over. Keitaro recognized it as the precursor to a nervous breakdown. He wrapped his arms around her, and held her as she broke down crying.

"O-Onii-chan... Onii-chan...!" She sobbed. Keitaro sighed, and rubbed her back.

"It's okay Imouto-chan... It's okay..."

Apparently Keitaro breaking the news like that had been a lot worse for her than Keitaro simply choosing Naru on Mol Mol. No, this had resulted in Kanako going batshit crazy. As she was carted away in an ambulance, Keitaro sighed, looking down at the ground. He sensed the rest of the girls behind him, and turned around to face them.

"... So... All of us?" Naru asked. Keitaro nodded.

"Yeah..."

"So... Um... Who are you going to choose?" Shinobu dared to ask. Keitaro thought about it, and shrugged.

"Well..." He sighed deeply, bowing his head. "I... I don't want to lose... Anyone else... But I can't..." He shook his head and mentally, he laughed at the preposterous notion.

"What?" Naru asked.

... Well, if it failed, it'd just reset.

"I don't want to lose any of you... So... Do I have to choose?" He asked. He looked between all the girls. "I mean... I know, it's not... Conventional... Maybe it's even selfish, but-"

"I agree," Kitsune said. Keitaro blinked, and she shrugged with a small smile. "Who am I to break us up like that?"

"... Me too," Motoko said. "I... I would be willing... To share..."

"M-Me too," Shinobu said softly.

"As long as we're all happy... Ara... I'll be happy," Mutsumi said.

"Is how things are done on Mol Mol... Su would love to have sister wives, like Momma and other Momma," Su said with a broad smile.

Everyone looked at Naru. She flushed, looked between them all. Keitaro mentally shook his head.

_No way she'd accept it... Not selfish, jealous, crazy-_

"If... If it makes everyone happy...?" Naru smiled. "I... Well... Why not?" She looked at Keitaro. "Unless you want to wait around for your Promised Girl?"

Keitaro's jaw actually dropped. He pinched himself. He looked around at all the girls twice more. He then shook his head and smiled.

"Seriously?"

Naru smiled and nodded. She then huffed. "Don't think this will just let you-MMPH?"

Keitaro gave her a deep, soul searing kiss, running his fingers down her spine and activating all her pleasure pressure points. He did the same thing to every other girl, rendering them speechless, before he jumped away and began to dance.

"BEST! LOOP! EVER!" He crowed. All of them _accepting_ this? Without any prodding or manipulation on his part? This was AWESOME!

"WOO HOO! YEE HAA! I-WOAH!"

Well... Until they all jumped him at once.

"My turn!"

"I get him first!"

"Get your hands off that! MINE!"

"I will have him first!"

"Su want ride Ronin Banana FIRST!"

He sighed, tears running down his cheeks. He really should've known better...

* * *

_And a loop involving Kanako. What can I say, I was never too fond of Kanako, but I don't hate her. I just like tormenting her a little._


End file.
